Naw, It's Awe Pish: We Just Made It Up! - Update 13,14,15, 16 & 17

Rubbish rumours, the papers, the fans and the pish take merchants are peddling..

Number 13-Andreas Hinkel

Rating: 8 oot of 10. This would get a higher it might happen rating but oor cack-handed attempted to get him on loan, instead of splashing the cash. But.....his quote "I have told the club that I'd like to move and, of course, Celtic would be perfect for me." is heartening but could only mean in REAL speak "please add a couple of mair grand onto ma wages and i will consider going to the delights of the senkie and Paisley....." Expect him to be plying his wears in Germany.....

Number 14- Bernard Mendy

Rating 1 oot of 10. Oot of contract oot of favour wie the hapless PLG and a bosman. I can see the SSM slavering at the prospect of doing this bit of business. Sure he fits within the wage structure, he has ticked the box that Bolton and Fulham are interested- he did play for Bolton- and most importantly, rumours that he is not that guid fits in wie GS other purchases in this area. Expect him to be pictured wie a green and white scarf very soon.....

Number 15-Philip Senderos

Rating 8 oot of 10. Nae substance in this rumour, this was peddled by Charlie Nicholas who stated that he would be a guid signing.....one reason why he won't be in the Hoops. The other.....Arsenal fans still rate him while others say he is the new Pascal Cygan, which is not a guid thing...

Number 16-Barry Robson

Rating 4 oot of 10- The best midfielder in Scotland according to Craig Levein. Just what we need, another midfielder in a purple patch of form from an SPL club...the way forward.....???

Number 17- Andrew Driver- from the STV News...

Rating 4 oot of 10- STV News understands that Celtic and r*ngers are circling....me? See Barry Robson.....

Forza

View From The Wing- Caley 3 Celtic 2

Gordon, shudders as the ghost of Jim Jeffries passes through his body

It was like an episode of "Life on Mars". For 10 minutes, i thought i had been knocked doon by a Ford Cortina and transported back to the early nineties...big Mick had become the bastard offspring of McGuigan, McNally, Whtye and Cascarino- he did play CB for Brady a few times-and oor goalie had morphed into the hybrid of Muggleton and Marshall...oh stuff it and Kerr.

Since the begining of time, well ma time, i canny remember us NOT having bombscares at the back..it's as traditional as the Hoops, as turkey at xmas and yer wife not talking to you after a two day bender when you forget where you live. Even MON big CB's had bombscare moments....and one of them is still hanging around wie 30,000 reason why he canny come back into the side.

Those seem to view Bobo Blade wie selective memory, which comes wie nostalgia. The Lisboa Lions are the same, people forget that they had bad games...but Bobo has all of a sudden become Maldini, Baresi or suchlike if you listen to the bar-room boozers bawbags and phone in tubes. The seem to forget that the big fellow is ponderous on the baw and rash in the tackle. He is an easy option to cure the ills of away games. Canny keep a clean sheet? "Just bring back Bobo that wee Ginja husnae got a clue" they bleat.....wonder if they remember Bratislava and Motherwell..THE two games when GS decided he didnae fancy him.....

Over the last 14 months, they only constant in the run has been Mick. He has been the only EVER present. GS perferred partnership, the partnership that gained oor last clean sheet, is Mick and Caldwell. For what i can remember this partnership has only played a handful of times since THAT game at Westfield...this partnership is limited but honest..but IMO the fact that, this season esp, the constant chopping and changing of the defence has not help matters...BUT THE SCHOOL BHOY ERRORS yesterday must rank as the worst on this run....

I like Mick, he is honest, reads the game well- near post reading of the game is fantastic- but he is a typical Scottish limited ability CB who will make mistakes. Apart from Donestk and yesterday has he had many howlers? I don't think he has and the people shouting for him to be dropped should really get a grip and look at the bigger picture...which is Mick is the best CB at the club and will remain the best CB at the club as the money we have to spend won't get any better unless oor scouts come up trumps and find the new "Kaiser" in Outer Mongolia.

But, comedy errors and a goalie who has been dodgy over the last few weeks, c'mon, the pen should have been saved and also their second goal, werent the only cause of the defeat. We will start wie the MIB, Alan Freeland. He changed the game by awarding the penalty before half time.

Elvis, was caught wie a simple baw over the top and decided to let it run to the dodgy goalie. He used the well worn tactic of putting himself between the man and the baw. A tactic he has used to great effect, and wie NO punishment, in a blue, sky blue, orange and marroon....So how come oor Elivs gets punished for it in a green and white jersey....paranoid moi?.....and how come he wisnny sent off if it was a foul?

Mr Freeland and his other MIB's decided then to chop off an onside goal, it was close, when the senkie had brought the game back to 2-2. A goal that would HAVE changed the course of the game. That brings us to the other incidents, which brings Mr Freelands incompitence and inconsistancy that pollutes oor game.

Two weeks ago panto-villian Gary Caldwell was punished for a push in the box, right so IMO, against the jam farts. On Sunday TWICE JVOH was pushed in the back while trying to get his Dutch noggin on the end of crossses. Again, if it is a pen one week...it's surely one the next...you would think? Nae, not according to Mr Freeland and would i be wrong to mention the green and white jerseys again?

Also, to balance ma paranoia up, i didnae think the senkie boy should have got sent off. ALL I ASK FOR IS CONSIsTANCY......but not consistant shite.

But....we were masters of oor own downfall. 2-0 up to 3-2 doon. Last 20 odd minutes against 10 men. Humilation in the Highlands....hell, yeah. Thing is, the nature of this collaspe didnae suprise me one little bit. From brutal in Bratislava to calamitis in Clyde, via all sort of shockers and, maybe worse of all, rank against r*ngers, nae back bone or liftupability in his teams is as common as lastminutewinability....UNPREDICTABLE can sum up GS reign.

For the last 20 minutes against senkie, we werent cute enough to cut them open. We didnae have the streetwise-ness to drag the senkie defence all over the place. Oor tactics, the tactics managers develop when the seige mentality of a Coventry or a Southampton, a menatlity bourne through working wie inferiour players who are playing against better players, something that in Scotland we dinny have to worry aboot, of the long baw is NEVER going to work for long spells against teams as honest as the senkie.

We ended up that ragged that oor formation, sort of resembled a Sunday pub team. It was a 3-0-7 in the last period, we NEVER picked up ANY second baw that oor aimless punts into the box forced clearances from. The long baw..the Hail Mary....can be used when you are DESPERATE....but not when there is a long period of the game left. Last 5 minutes yes, last 25 minutes nah, we should be BETTER than that.

We canny fault the senkie or the result. Yes, we had a few chances and the MIB's are getting a warm welcome in their pubs, clubs, lodges, workplaces and SFA corridors this week but make nae mistake...this result was OOR doing....we canny deny the senkie their GREATEST EVER result against us....and one of most embarrassing.

Not that it stops oor manager saying differently."We had all the possession, all the chances and all the decisions going against us," "We feel a bit hard done by. They took their chances, but we should have won that game quite easily." he said wieoot any hint of embarressment or feeling like Jim Jeffries being visited wie the ghost of Christmas past and screaming "Bah Humbug" at orphaned weans.

Is it any wonder that some Celtic fans, wonder what he is on at times? If the signing of Adam Virgo wisnny enough to convince that he lost the plot, his meanderings and meeja dealings really do leave us feeling like dragging him to watch the re-runs on Celtic Tv and playing keepie uppy wie his crown jewels while screaming "Guid professionals, right guid players...are ye watching this....are ye asking santa for new fullbacks, a centreback, a decent goalie....a plan B....a taxi for Elvis....."

We should tie him to a chair like that scene in the Clockwork Orange and make him watch re-runs of the terrible performances of this season....then drag him oot to face the press and make him just tell the truth...."We have been poor in a lot of games...."

It canny be that difficult to admit that, surely?


Forza

Lotw Diary

Nooo, the bench again boss.....

We canny lie. After a week of festive hilarity, gloating and the stuffing of turkeys earlier than usual, the last place we wanted to be going is Inversenkie....a place we have never played well, got results right enough, in dramatic last minute circumstance. Wish i could say that tomorrow we were going to win comfortable, easily..but...i canny, in fact, the FEAR of another 2 or 3 points dropped is very real...real enough to worry that the impetuses will shift the the evil over the Clyde.

So what is the gossip, the craic and the views.....

Day off for the tired bhoys

"The pressure of non-stop matches gets to everybody in the end. It's a lot for players and coaches to take in. There's a mental stress involved for the players." said oor wee ginja ninja. So does giving players the day's off to go oot on the swally, Wednesday is grab a grannie or trannie night in Karbon, allegedly, while last week he was berating the fact that he couldnae spend time on the training field at the luxurious Lennoxtoon wie the Bhoys make sense?

No, don't get it either....but he's the boss, he knows his players and their "right guid wans" according to the boss.

GS would like to be seven points clear

“I’d like to be seven points clear but we dropped two last week and we have to deal with that which we’ve done already and I think we dealt with it very, very well during the week.” The facade that we pushed the ghosts of the failure against St Mirren away, wie a 4-0 victory against Fawkirk is being peddled very hard by the Celtic PR machine.

As anyone will tell you who saw both games the only difference was that oor quality, the first names on the team sheet, the Aiden, the Skippy and the Broony, all had guid games. They don't play we don't have a plan B or C. Add to that the return of Donati against Fawkirk, which seemed to give us a mair creative edge.

While his performances have been hit or miss, which can be mockney rhyming slang for pish and that could sum up some of Massimos games...the stat is, in the last two games Massimo has started Celtic have scored 7 goals. If you add the Donestk game into that, he came on after 16 minutes and was Colin Nish but scored the winner, oor Italian Tommy Gravesan- soon to the returned Tommy G if the Daily Ragger is to be believed- when he has been involved the team has scored 9 goals.

Would he fancy Inversenkie in December? Would he take one look at the delights of the Kessoch Brig, the lumbering giants that ICT employ and decide that he would rather be shopping in Milan wie, i'm sure, his guid looking burd?

If he starts would he go the sameway as the Grav and Jiri faired on their first visit to the senkie-i.e sh*te?

The physical presence that the Senkie have and the FACT they are an in-form team means that the managers mithering that “They make it hard for us - sometimes we make it hard for ourselves - but I’d like to give them a bit more respect than that" rings as true as the bell tolls wherever yer nearest bell tolls.

Not, going to second guess the manager...but i am..it's a blog and a blogger is meant to give the impression that he knows what he is talking aboot. Injuries to Elvis and Ryan Conroy mean that, what i thought would be the GS plan, revert to the bigger physical back four wie O'Dea coming in at LB and Jiri returning to the left handside in place of Massimo, may not happen now. I would go on to say if that does happen then the managers take that "we make it hard for oorselves" very, very true.

We can guess one thing though, Deek will be an unused sub and Evander, despite bleating like a typical egotistical Dutchman- yer twenty big stuff and yer no playing for Den Hagg or Fc Twente...yer playing for the SELLLLICK, learning yer trade, yer a lucky man.....- will need to be wrapped up like a Eskimo fishing in Alaska sitting next to Deek on the bench.....at least he will have a chance to get on..even if it is on the right wing...

Forza

Naw, It's Awe Pish: We Just Made It Up

Rubbish rumours, the papers, the fans and the pish take merchants are peddling...

The ratings system is as follows- 1 for a good chance the story or rumour will happen to 10 for away and slide doon a moonbeam ya rage, that will never happen.

number 1: Nakashuanskie- From the Daily Mail and again.

Rating: 2 oot of 10. Good chance of this happening, as the rumours of a unhappy Naka- wanting his son to go to school i Japan- and Shaun have been abound for a while and despite wee Shaunies agent being a complete hideous beast of a man it looks like he will return.

Number 2: Jerome "Johnny" Rothen swap for Bobo Balde- From Oor Paris Mole

Rating: 5 oot of 10. Well, that is according to oor source. Left sided midfielder unhappy at a misfiring PSG and wishes another crack at the Champions League. May have to settle for the UEFA cup though.Bobo the other way? PSG are shite in defence and Karl Svensson is not available so it could be a goer.

Number 3: Colin Nish-Randelstown CSC

Rating: 8 oot of 10. C’mon, i know Bruno Hefflelump is always injured but this guys name could be mockney ryming slang....”I’m going for a Colin Nish, get me a pint”...but the guy is really Colin Nish.

Number 4: Marcello Gallardo- Ronnie Corbett’s love child via French Papers then E-mail

Rating: 7 oot of 10. Ronnie says- “ 31 year Argentenian midfielder. Had a spell at Monaco (I think)...always thought he was a quality player when he played in the 98 world cup.”

Number 5: Steven Fletcher- Kaney via SMS via his da' who was talking to Gary Caldwell's da'...also in the daily ragger today

Rating 3 oot of 10. Kaney says- " we wanted the King o' King's but it looks like we will get another Hibee. My Da' was talking to Caldwell's Da' and he said he will be at CP next week and is Celtic daft."

Number 6: Kyle Lafferty- Sunday Life.

Rating: 6 oot of 10. Another Celtic linked wie big striker story....don’t think there is much in this, to tell you the truth. Guy burst on the scene last year and has done nothing really since. Money they will be asking will mean this won’t happen. But what do I know, so expect to see him in the Hoops.....

Number 7: George Elokobi -Sky via Vital Colchester

Rating 2 oot of 10. So why do I reckon this will happen? Two words. Adam Virgo. Oor manager has been known to plunder the fizzy pop league for the next big thing and the FACT that this boy is a left back means i'm putting two and two together and getting five.

Number 8: Benni McCarthy-Daily Express via Tribal Fitba'

Rating 8 oot of 10- Would GS put up wie a player that has fallen oot wie his current manager due to the fact he is lazy and unfit? Also his wages and temperament mean that he is a stick on to go to the h*ns....they buy all the egotistical big heided bawbags....

Number 9: Grzegorz Szamotulski- The Daily Mail

Rating 3 oot of 10- Oor managers habit of buying players for positions we dinny need cover and also the fact that the guy is oot of contract means Mark Brown could be packing his bags by the 1st January. Which would be a shame as i think he is an able deputy and a future numero uno when the holy goalie leaves.

Number 10: Matt Taylor- The Sun via Ronnie Corbetts love childs e-mail.

Rating 5 oot of 10- Out of favour full back, we have no full backs, Sun lackie puts two and two together and comes up wie lazy journalism.....

Number 11: Michael Hart-Setanta Sports

Rating 3 oot of 10- Aberdeen right back linked, wie the fat orange umpa lumpa stating that “Well if anybody gets an offer like that, you can’t talk them out of it" all while denying there is an offer and warning that he won't get a game....hopefully he might talk him oot of it...Mr Hart husnae been exactly Mark Wilson impressive, or even Jocky Wilson impressive when i have seen him....

Number 12: James "Law" "Kenny" McFadden-Talkin Soccer from the times

Rating 10 oot of 10- The new sensation of Scottish fitbaw, the only sensation of Scottish fitba to tell the truth that flatters to deceive. I don't even think it is worth talking aboot this wan, as big feck will pay a kings ransom to take him to relegation bound Birmingham...

Any rumours from the guy doon the boozer, a taxi driver, a cousins auntie who cleans so and so bog?

e-mail nawitsawepish@live.co.uk -It is a real e-mail addy.....

Lotw Diary.

So, was there a side order of garlic bread to go wie the ipox order from Dominos Pizza after their game last night? I’m sure the Coca Cola was flowing, Charlie the Honey Monster munching the fries and Da Da Darcheville going for a slice of a cheese and tomato and missing his mouth from three yards. Rumours that Barry 8 oot of 10 Ferguson was posted missing from the festivities celebrating the snatching WAFFA cup qualification from the jaws of last 16 qualification are unconfirmed......

Not, one to gloat, well, but after 3 games we were oot and qualification, a knighthood and the freedom of Govan was guaranteed for Wallie, Ally and Kenny. For them to let us become the most successful Scottish team in CL history is very dignified of them....

I’m sure the Green Brigade are busily coming up wie ideas for January 2nd in which their banners will include mentions of the European Cup, Big Jock and something French.... Allez Lyon, Viva La France and Peppe Le Pew...

So what aboot he Hoops then?

The holy goalie is leaving.... Holy Goalie might be staying.... Holy Goalie to Lannndan

Oh, Arfur Bourc the Holy Goalie, he might not be so holy when he leaves, if he leaves. He might leave sooner if he goes ootside CP and looks at the unoffissial merchandise Holy Goalie scarf’s, which have the wrong words to his song on them. What do we expect for a fiver right enough? Will need to ask why the say he hates r*ngers and not he hates the h*ns? Is having the word h*n on yer scarf now offensive? Don’t answer that....

Anyway, this story started of wie this quote” I have decided I am going to leave Celtic in the summer. "Celtic want more than £10million for me but I think it is too much..” It then moved on to this after the correct translation was reported.. "For the last month-and-a-half, we have been talking about signing a new contract," and "The price of £10m (Celtic's market valuation) is cosmic money but I know people in Great Britain expect to pay more than any other countries in Europe."

He mentions using the Webster law, which unlike Murphy’s Law is bitter and involves periods of inactivity, injury and ugliness. As the Tory Mail points oot, on the link above, Arfur has his dates wrong as he only signed on loan initially and the SSM has him over a barrel regarding Webster’s Law, which is still as murky as the Clyde, in the legal respect as far as i’m aware.

So, what does this blogger make of it all?

Think we all know that a goalie like Arfur will be in demand and none of us will be daft enough to think that he will prolong his already legendary status if 1) a massive bid- yes, £10million please- and 2) a club that takes Arfur’s fancy comes along. A club that will take Arfur’s fancy is not a Tottenham or a Villa.

It will be a Man Utd, Barcelona- dodgy goalie at the mo- or an AC Milan- Coco the clown will sulk back to Brazil and Arfur has been impressive, twice, against them or the dark horses and who I would term as favourites to make the 1st bid Arsenal.

Jens Lehman will be offski in January and surely Arsene canny see Almunia as the long-term future of his up and coming golden generation. Arsene did sign the “New Boruc” in Fabanski last season, a goalie that coaches at Legia rated higher than the Holy Goalie, but he has failed to make the step up.

A swap deal plus cash, I think, would be of interest to the tracksuits and the sharp suits at CP. Wie Mark Brown deciding that palming the baw across goal is a necessary evil, must be a Scottish goalie thing as “Scotland’s number one” done it last night..Mawhhhaaaa, signing a younger version of Arfur, who was rumoured to be on oor radar anyway, would appeal to the coaches and the moneymen would be thankful that we would retain the links wie Poland.

I can’t see Arfur signing a new deal until the late summer at the earliest. Wie the Euro 2008 and the latter stages of the CL coming up his stock could rise even more- yes, £12million please...- so, Arfur is quite right to become the chief executive of the Holy Goalie and wait and see what gets landed on the table.
If he does sign an improved contract wie the Hoops then I would expect a Stan P situation to arise. But it’s all if and but’s and I fully expect more press shite before the season is oot.

Oooooohhhhhh.. I’m all Holy Goalied oot, so lets look to the future, after that fat bloke in the red suit has broke into yer hoose, ate yer food and drunk yer wine….yes, I’m looking even further than Inversenkie….

Mick wants the Real deal....

So Mick wants Madrid. He says “I think everybody would say Madrid because we never been there before. We’ve played a lot of the best teams in Europe apart from Madrid.” Quite right to, if we are going to be Scotland’s only representatives in the competition it’s only fair that we get a tie befitting of the most successful Scottish team EVER in CL history.

Also from a purely selfish point of view, we, as now CL mainstays and luminaries, in wie the big boys on a yearly basis, soon to be the establishment club and the quintessential Irish / Scottish club, respected the world over…we have seen them come and go….except Madrid…

Right, Madrid could end the Fortress Parkheid bubble, which has wobbled and will go sooner rather than later but so what….Munich celebrated a draw at CP, Milan and Donestk would have loved a draw at CP…we have many memories and losing to the all stars of Madrid is not exactly Bratislava-esq.

Personally, a wee trip to Spain would do me. Madrid, Barca, two cities I huvnae been too, and Seville the scene of the hottest day of ma Celtic supporting life. A strange part of me wishes a trip doon sooth, maybe a wee pint of shandie in the Chelski village would be something to tell the family aboot…

Forza

View From The Wing- Celtic 4 Falkirk 0

Cauld winter night, no many bodies to warm the cockles, a few, well the majority of season ticket holders / fans / consumers- attendance 32,000, that’s only an approx, lost count after eight- decided a night in watching Liverpool or Eastenders was better than watching the Hoops against the fearless Fawkirk.

But it’s nice to know that we still hold sway in Europe or, at least, wie a 6 Lyon fans that decided to make the pilgrimage to CP or were just at the wind up for their visit to Govan. Resplended in offessial scarf’s purchased from the shop- to keep the PLC happy-; they were the main attraction in the LRT before the game. One, who looked like Cliff Richard trying to dress like an ultra, was wired for sound, and while the Lyon fans are not renowned for their passion he could sink pints of Guinness not seen this side of Cork.

So in respect for them it’s only fair that we give them an Allez Lyon...

Lets start wie stubborn management. The heid steward, who patrols the area around 413, really needs a bloody reality check and brought doon a few pegs. His “management” style of swearing at his minimum wage charges telling them to “Get fecking over there”, “Fecking, follow me you!” and “Get in those fecking bogs and bring me oot the smokers” is way oot of order. He was like Hitler in a fluorescent jacket and a stupid cap. Then his customer service manner is something to behold...

If I was one of the bhoys who were caught smoking last night, - right, they shouldnae have been smoking in the bog but...surely a warning and a wee on yer way is all that is required, is it worth the hassle for £6.00 odds an hour for the abuse, which this boys attitude deserves, right enough- I would have been marching the lard-arsed right round to the SSM and telling him to sack the f*cker on the spot.

The guilty Bhoys, got their season books, very gleefully, taken from them- I thought since they paid for them only a club official, i.e. the SSM could take it from them? - then escorted from the stadium by the rozzers.

I know Celtic officials scour the net and the message boards, so a wee note, if yer reading this hiya!!!! No, this steward is going to cause a riot one day soon. Get it sorted.

So lets continue wie stubborn management. On Saturday the manager was saved by a wee blond heided talent wie an instinct to score goals and guid ones at that. Last night, the manager repaid him wie what must have been like a slap across his coupon wie a big wet kipper when Evander Sno was fielded as a right-winger, wie the misconception that any player wie dreadlocks his the gene of Regi Blinker.

The manager made it quite clear last night, if he hadn’t before, that Deek Riordon disnny have a future at CP and his actions say a lot aboot his man management still or lack of one. His treatment of some players if they are not part of the favoured gym loving fitness freaks lacks taste and respect.

A game, which we were winning at a canter against 10 men, was the perfect opportunity to take off some of the main players and one who is struggling. This was also an opportunity for players, who are staying and the manager says he wishes to keep getting game time. Once again GS words are hypocritical when levelled against his actions.

But, enough of management lets marvel over a bumper Celtic performance. Well, not really lets marvel that oor MAIN players improved from Saturday’s slog-fest and that oor, fabled and lauded, “quality” players got us through what was a strange night.

It was a game that could have ended up 8-2. We created chances but we were ponderous by trying to score the perfect goal. Fawkirk, played better than St Mirren and apart from two goal line clearances from Caldwell and Conroy- one that he handled away but.... Fawkirk had a similar incident waved away by the MIB...so nae-bleating bairns...- when we were only 1-0 up that could have changed the game. Still reckon that we would have won the game but you never know.

We started the game at a blistering pace, wie Donati and Aiden the main contenders for being the biggest threat. While the Italian still drops oot of the game for long spells, during these spells fawkirk got a grip of the midfield, when he is on the his forward thinking is invaluable.

Ok, sometimes he picks the wrong pass, sometimes he misplaces his pass and other times he kills the baw persons wie his forward thinking but last night when we controlled the game, first 10, last 15 of first half then the whole of the second, Donati was on the ball, playing baw’s quickly from the middle and the ponderous nature of oor midfield performance on Saturday was banished like bhoys smoking in the bogs.

Aiden decided that the Fawkirk full backs, were going to get roasted like a China White wannabe WAG. Aiden wisnny the first to have a go at them, that privilege went to Skippy, who toasted the full back and won a ball, he had no right to be first to and a pen that KennyMline decided to protest aboot. A protest that produced a comic moment when he tried to show the MIB that he tackled Skippy oot side the box only to realise that the tackle creator that he created was inside.

After that moment the full backs and Fawkirk defence was fair game to ridicule. Like all decent pro’s they kept to thier task but the stats show Aiden walking away wie the match baw and the Fawkirk defenders probably phoning the Samaritans. Not that they did a bad joab. Aiden, I thought didnae have his best game, creative wise, but managed to take 100% of his chances.

Two one on one’s, the first one after, a poor first touch, showed gallusness wie a toe poke past the on-rushing Krull and his second one on one after a lung bursting run from the edge of the Celtic pen box, collecting the baw 35 yards from goal then slotting past the goalie. The second was impressive as he had space and time to fluff his lines but he showed composure and maturity.

The meat in the sandwich, was a now typical Aiden cut in from wide, twinkle toe across the box before shooting into the net. This season Aiden has added the cut inside and shot to his game to decent effect. I’m never going to complain aboot anyone having a go at goal, something Big Sno should learn. Get it banged bhoys.... it won’t go in if you don’t belt it.

Last night saw another one of oor managers many idiosyncrasies. Paul Caddis, who had been on the bench for what seemed like eon’s, only to be over looked for Ryan Conroy to be called into action before him.

Conroy, despite a sheepish start, went on to have a decent game. Anytime he was left exposed and one on one wie the impressive and bemusing Muntinho- bemusing as having seen a bit of this langer, it’s funny that he has seemed to have come over all Alan Gow and found his form going into the final months of his contract- he won the majority of duels, looked guid in the tackle and on the baw, plus showed the difference of having a natural wide left hand sided player- he has played wide left in the midfield for Scotland- in the team.

The guid thing was that he didnae seem to be effected by the baw that is know known as “The Caldwell” which, generally is a hump to no one that all oor other fill in full backs have been cursed wie.

If we never see the lad again he can be pleased wie his first team outing.

So, pleased wie the workrate, energy and some of the fitbaw we played. It told us nuthin that we didnae know already, that oor “star” men, if they turn up then we have an extra bit of quality to balance up the ordinary that we have. But that’s why guys like McGeady, Skippy, Broony and Hartley are first names doon on the team sheet. Can Donati maybe now get added to that list? Only if we learn the CB’s to give him the baw and play through him, starting wie Inversenkie on Sunday….

Right, 9 minutes worth of highlights here and an interview wie Gordon Strachan

Forza

Lotw Diary.

Now, i know we were bad on Saturday but did we really lose 51-1 as Newsnow states- doon the bottom, last article before the earlier news banner. Monday's are bad enough, wieoot thinking that you missed 49 goals and you were sober as a judge. Monday's are also bad enough when you are dealing wie the ticket office who like making purchasing tickets as difficult as possible?

Why have Celtic not told Ticketmaster that tickets for Dundee Utd away are on sale and how come Ticketmaster don't recognise the group's, which Celtic ask you to be part off, but they only reconise individual numbers then....will only allow you to buy a ticket for yerself cause they don't recognise the group? Don't they want us at games? No don't answer that......

Gordon wants Deek to stay....???

"He will not be made available here. He will not be forced out of the door. "We want him here and he doesn't have to go anywhere." say's oor Gordon, of the man that caused the biggest roar of the day when his slight frame arrived on the snow swept field. His goal and his GIRUY celebration caused much amusement in LOTW towers. Again, oor manager says one thing while his actions do the exact opposite. It's simple Gordon, play him and he will stay..whether he is the answer to oor poor form...well....that's another question....

Magic to retire.......

What? He husnae already.......the only Pole in Scotland not in employment see's the US of A and the weak dollar as the perfect retirement home. This not a slight on the MLS, before D from the Dcentres comes on and gives me a big American Irish boot up the arse, it's a slight on Magic who see's LA a better option to do nuthin than Lennoxtown......another what could have been slips oot the door,maybe.....

Killen begs for a chance.....

Well, not really begs but takes the good old pro line “Being on the bench is hard and you have to keep yourself prepared, both mentally and physically and I just have to keep myself ready so that when I am called upon I can do my best for the team.” He, like the rest of us, must be looking at the struggling JVOH and saying "I can get on the end of those Gary Caldwell's hoofs up the park". His last start was against Benfica and before that a decent performance against Gretna, on a day decent performances were as rare as a quick forward pass from oor back four....

Gordon rings the changes...

As predictable as night following day oor manager decides to, maybe, tinker wie the team, probably bring back the Italian enigma Donati, to look moody, sullen and uninterested, he might also test Caddis against a team, that always plays well against us and are in a great vein of form. For me Saturday was the time to make the changes not tomorrow night. He says “And our quality wasn’t good enough in the last quarter of the field and that can happen" so can we expect Deek and Killen to start?.....as long as if Lapaty plays we don't give him the time and place to dictate play...it's quite embarrassing watching an 138 year old boss the game and the 140 year old Andy Millen has already done that this week.....

Forza

View From The Wing- Celtic 1 St Mirren 1

St Mirrens flukey only shot on target goal and Riordon scores his farwell goal, maybe...

This was always going to be a slightly negative post. There was a few things bugging this blogger and conversations, at the game, in the pub and on the bus, then a 90 mins to forget, another 90 mins to add to the long list of 90 mins to forget, sort of summed up the confused nature of the beast that is the Celtic support.

It started of wie the question "Who do you think GS will buy in Jan?" and the answer "If the board had any sense they would not give him a penny, to ensure he b*ggers off back to Match of the day 2, in the summer". When asked why he thought this after 2 championships, 2 last 16's and 2 cups, the answer was "After Bratislava, then Motherwell he said he would sort the problems, he said he would be exciting score goals be entertaining, 3 years on we still have the same problems, he has proved he canny sort them"

"Look around, empty seats, apathy, the bubbles burst and nae one is interested"

After the 90 mins it was difficult to argue. The mood was as dark as the East End sky. Supporting yer team shouldnae be a chore. It shouldnae feel like a chore but..when you see yer season slipping back into the mediocre that has characterised the last 2 seasons , the same mistakes being made again and again, then the chore factor comes into it. When you hear blokes discussing not going to the forthcoming games as they canny be bothered then you know yer in trouble.

The lowest attendance for sometime, in the league, shows it's not working. We have the chance to go 4 in front, right, St Mirren are not a big draw, but under 40,000, and that's being generous, turn up. The board will be noticing this. No matter the season book sales, nae one buying pies, bovrils or overpriced sh*tty pizzas will have the PLC wondering why the consumers are not turning up to follow their chosen pied piper.

So why? Fact is over the last few weeks we have seen performances creep back to the end of last season level. Injuries, maybe have played the part but....there is failings massive failings that simple management should sort are proving to show short comings in oor manager.

It was summed up today by three decisions. One, naming virtually the same team as last week and midweek when the performances were sair to watch. Two, his subs. Bringing on Sno, who had a decent game, and shoving the struggling Broony oot wide, then bringing on Deek, great goal, to put oot wide right and moving Hartley to left back where he cost us the goal beggared belief.

Ok, he could say his subs worked. The fact that we were playing a team that was humped 5-1 last week, meant that they were never going to come oot and attack. The fact, that JiriJaro lasted to half time, then seven minutes of the second half to be replaced by a defensive midfielder instead of a more direct pacey player, again was bemusing. We only had one creative outlet the whole game, who got crowded oot. This was not sorted until it was too late.

Three, the fact that there is no plan b. Withoot any natural full backs, he expects two centre halves to be overlapping full backs. He expects, Jiri, to become a direct left hand sided midfielder. His ridgid 4-4-2 formation is right from the dark ages of the British coaching manual.

Now, while the players are not entirely blameless for today or last weeks showing, one thing they don't lack is effort. Yes, today, and last week they had effort, they are honest but lack quality. The manager has hung some of them oot to dry by conistantly playing them oot of position. Thing is, these players have kept the manager from getting it really tight due to the fact that they are honest professionals who have fight and spirit.

I will not abuse any player in the Hoops that gives me effort. Yes, some should not be wearing the Hoops as they are really not guid enough but the effort is there and if the manager is responsible for that then he deserves credit.

Off today's team, being honest here, which ones if they left in January would we really miss? Tell you this only McManus, Hartley, Brown- if the buzzbomb goalscoring midfielder returns, where has that player went and why is it any player we sign suddenly becomes a different player from what we signed? manager, tactics?- McGeady and McDonald- O'Dea and the goalie are left oot because he husnae really had a chance- would be spared in the cull.

So that leaves, Elvis, Caldwell, Jiri, Sno, Deek, Killen and Hesslelink could leave wieoot much wailing of the fact that they are gone. Add to them the benchwarmers Zurawaski and Balde. Young Caddis must also be wondering tonight if he has a future at CP if he canny get a game against St Mirren at home.

The meeja, tonight, on the way home took Celtic fans to task for saying the managers position is shaky. Ok, it's not shaky, we are not Real Madird who can sack managers after winning leagues, but...if this season develops the same way the performances of last did we won't win three in row. Falkirk will be looking forward to playing us and the h*ns, who have won the last three, two at a canter as we have rolled over and died, against us, will relish booting us of the park.

Tonight, is a night, when the doubts we had since the start of the season have resurfaced. The fact that we maybe doubted that oor manager could handle a challenge. We have dropped points before at home against smaller teams but this time it's different....it's closer, every point is a prisoner.

I'm still confident that we will come through. For all ma moanings, i trust the players. We are better than most of the SPL and when we do click then we can be interesting to watch. If oor manager gets it right in Jan then we should have nuthin to worry aboot. His record makes us doubt this. It could be hit or miss.

Guid thing is we have the chance to get back in the saddle and winning ways quickly on Tuesday.I'm looking forward to it...i don't see supporting ma team as a i chore...and for all ma doubts the manager and players will get ma backing.

Forza

Lotw Diary- Ac Milan and St Mirren

Sunday 2nd December

This weekend has had a sense of irony for Lotw. Take today. Christmas shopping wie MrsG, when standing in the middle of the chaos that is a shopping centre, which resembles the beginning of "Saving Private Ryan" , the music booming from the PA is not Uncle Noddy and the boys bellowing "It's Christttttttmasssss" but Uncle Lou Reed singing an ode to heroin addiction aboot it being "A Perfect Day"

It would have been perfect day, if i was anywhere else and if the Hoops hudnae dropped two points to an ironic last minute pen the day before. But hey ho, we have a massive week coming up, wie Milan on Tuesday then, jings crivvens help ma boab, a home game after a CL game. The SPL must be pissed off aboot that. Bet they are lobbing FIFA to get the World Club Championship cancelled.

So lets begin, at the beginning.....

Setanta - Gs musings after the Hearts game.

Lotw Comment- Along wie this reporter watching a completely different game from the rest of us, GS joins the band of different game watchers wie this “They put good work in and controlled the game." I agree wie the good effort bit but saying we controlled the game is a bit of a mis-truth. We only controlled the second half, wee man.

On the lack of subs, which some say cost us he says ”But we got through, and we had chances after that and I thought, well that’s fine, I see no real problems, so we’ll just keep playing the way we are playing.” and at least he acknowledges that slack play cost us the points wie this “The goal comes out the blue, well from us having three against one in the middle of the park, giving the ball away and they score.

So us giving the baw away couldnae have come from tiredness then?

Sky Sports- Darren O'Dea the new McGrain

Lotw Comment- Well, if Roberto Hooton is the new Cafu, then oor centre back come full back can be Scotland's greatest ever full back. He started off badly, wie Kingston selling a nutmeg then a dummy, which caused him to pay to get back in but came onto a game." I have had a rough week, I've been quite ill," How come i have this feeling that this week could be rougher than last for him and also his three centre half buddies in the San Siro?

The Scotsman - Massimo is not going to kill Rino...

Lotw Comment- "In this situation if we need a draw and they need a draw, if I don't kill Gattuso....," says oor moody and infuriating Italian "regista". I understand what he means, play softly, softly offer them a bribe in the car par beforehand etc.....but i would rather he halves Rino in two after Gary Caldwells screamer has put us 3-0 up.....

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Monday 3rd December

Start of another week. It's cauld and wet. The hoops are flying oot, to a cauld and wet Milan today along wie the start of a travelling army, which will number around 6000, which is around the same number of tickets Milan have sold. So what is happening today....

The Times- Spiers says GS is a nark.

Lotw Comment- You would think Graham Spiers, or corduroy boy as he is known in the fourth estate, would have better things to write aboot, like slagging oor nee'bours, than to tell us something we didnae know aboot oor manager. Yes, he is a nark, so get over it. This makes interesting reading though... "Strachan is trying to cut down some of the media chores he must do as an O*d F*rm manager, on account of the fact that he doesn’t like too many of the journalists he is forced to deal with."

We don't like reading what many of the journalists write as well....so can we cut doon on oor web time?

The Herald- Zico on Milan.

Lotw Comment- "We are going into the game with a lot of confidence from Donetsk in midweek. It was a point today, we didn't lose the game, so I think Milan comes at a great time." Unsure if we can take any confidence from draw against Hearts, it's not as if Hearts are full of World Cup and Champ League winners, maybe a few have Kanus Gala winners medals 2004 for the best float..,and oor performance against Donestk wisnny exactly one to tell the grankids aboot..... but it's nice to hear the camp is in good spirits for the trip.

BBC- Oh, Arfur Boruc, the holy goalie wie the sair knee....

Lotw Comment- So, it looks like the days of a couple of pills and injections are long gone. I remember in the guid ole days, a few staples, a paracetamol and a swig from the hip flask would have been enough for the players to play on wie a broken leg and ensure cripple dome by they were 35. Make no mistake, the big man will be a big loss if he faces a spell on the sidelines. But hey we have Elvis back..."great personality" according to oor manager.

Setatnta- Lets all laugh at Dida...

Lotw Comment- Must admit, i had forgotten all aboot the "incident" before i read this. So I'm sure the Celtic fans will give Coco the Clown a big round of applause for his part in, us, getting let off lightly for oor one man pitch invasion. Oh, and the fact that it's kafflick conspiracy in UEFA backed by the Vatican....

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Wednesday 5th December

So, here we go to 2 in a row. First Scottish team to have dinner wie the big boys at the big boys table two seasons running. You would think we would be shouting from the rooftops except were not. Some are allowing the below par performance to play on their minds- stop pointing fingers at blogger- and the meeja are saying "jammie barstewards, had to rely on Benfica etc last time they won away Bruce Forsyth had hair...." I mean, this morning on Radio Tuecther said we scrapped through, Sky had us being lucky and Talksport- to wind up Brazil- focused on oor poor away record, a record so poor that it's being compared to the Spice Girls comeback record.

So what does the world make of it all....in the words of Julian Cope, the world can shut it's mouth and a big C'MON the Lyon before i go any further.....

Uefa Overview Celtic V Milan, Celtic Fc

Lotw Comment- “I think the next level for us is to be a force away in Europe. I need to find that out and do something about that. “We have to get better whether it’s at home or away. There's one or two negatives I’m desperate to sort out.” Oor manager sums up what we are feeling and what we want to see happen. The fact that he highlights or domestic and European away form surely means we will see defensive anti-fitbawers arrive by the 31st Januray?

Hartley- Bring On Europe

Lotw Comment- ”We know we can play better but we were up against a very good team and results went our way so we’re happy. Again, as well as being honest this Celtic team seem to have a dose of reality. Annoying thing is that fact that we failed to win away again means the press have a stick to beat us wie....but who cares, when the draw is made on the 18.12.07 who do we want? Always fancied North London maeself....

Hesslelink wants time to grow...

Lotw Comment- One stat that was banded aboot last night was that the big man husnae scored a Champs League goal for us since he robbed Rio of his dignity at Old Trafford many moons ago. The big man was bought as a big hitter wie CL experiance help this, as he rightly points oot, young side. Must admit the jury is out and some might say a arrival of another striker in Januaray to partner Skippy is a must...me? I think his lack of goals at the highest level wie us is more to do wie us than him...

View From The Wing Milan 1 Celtic 0, Interviews and the Goals

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Thursday 6th December

"I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, I should be so lucky in luuuuvvvvvvvvvveeeeee" sang a midget from Oz, who once wore a curtain in the name of pop. Judging by the reactions to oor historic qualification from the "group of death" the Celtic should be renamed they Lucky Taigs Fae The East. Oor manager maybe will need to change the words of the song to "I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, I should be so lucky to get two bob for a full back, a centre half and a striker". But the Ginja Ninja knew the ropes when he took the joab. His joab description said "Spend oor UEFA cup budget and make sure you plunder Hibs every season..." and isnny he doing it well.....

Today's notes of interest....

View From The Terrace- Red Star v Partizan

The Funniest Post EVER on LOTW....Must read before you die.....

Chick Young Talks Pish

Lotw Comment- "If the San Siro is football's greatest theatre then this was the season of farce." say's oor Chico and while he say's the game wisnny fixed he mentions "but it did strike me that the finger of suspicion was pointed at poor Bruce Grobbelaar for much less" It's this kind of po-faced hurting type waffle that makes me wish that Milan had gifted us an equaliser and makes me say.....C'MON THE LYON.....

Celtic, will make money by qualifying for the last 16 of the Champs League

Lotw Comment- This is a confusing piece. The jist of it is, we will make some dosh...and the manager won't see a lot of it. News just in...LOTW resident accountant- Baldy- says we will make 12 million. UPDATE.....he now says £14million

A scandalous decision which damages integrity of football

Lotw Comment- The former drummer of "The Commotions" talks sense, that only a meeja lackie based doon sooth could spout. He makes an interesting point wie this quote "We understand the importance of the game, particularly for Rangers with their European aspirations," said Gretna's manager, David Irons- who agreed to the postponement.

Yes, this man is Gretna's manager. He should be wanting to play r*ngers at this time. So what's his beef then? Think we can all guess and i'm sure you will all join wie me in thanks that Gretna are going doon faster than a Brookes Mileson 20 deck.

Tribute To Steve McLaren

Lotw Comment- Since today's musings have had a muso feel, a wee song to finish from ma friend at Footblog. From Kylie to Rhianna in a couple of hundred words....you don't get this rubbish anywhere else....

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Friday 7th December

Thank, Crunchie it's Friday. Never liked Crunchie, that wee Kevin McAllister fellow. For me, he always epitomised a Fawkirk fan. A h*n wieoot the bus fare. Today has been a normal Friday, looking forward to the Hoops tomorrow at 3pm, slagging the h*ns by asking who they are playing at the weekend, calling members of ma bus to ensure enough bums to pay the bus tomorrow, phoning Parkheid to get told there is no Inversenkie tickets and wondering, this is the biggie, will Carlise beat Northampton...for ma fixed odds, or ma weekly donation to the bookies retirement fund as MrsG calls it.....

Shauny..wont you come on home.....

Lotw Comment- So wee short arse can come home if he drops £4,000 a week or £200,000 a year. What's that amount between friends Shaun? I mean, you will get mair appearance money at the Hoops...

The managers comments on St Mirren

Lotw Comment- “Our record after European games has been phenomenal,” states oor manager correctly. Just a pity oor performances huvnae been up to much after European games. Tomorrow, i expect another uninspired performance. Not, that i'm moaning it's just the normal reaction after the succulent lamb served in Europe compared to the deep fried nonsense that Scotland serves up.

Also as oor manager correctly states, we are a playing a team that was embarrassed last week. Nae danger will they lose five again. I predict a stuffy 2 goal win for the hoops to put us four clear. Injuries to Skippy and Broony make me think oor Massimo will score tomorrow....that's another donation to the bookie then....

Naw, It's awe pish: we just made it up.....been updated wie this weeks rumours

mair tomorrow...maybe

Forza

Official Apology from Celtic FC to the Bears

Over the last few days, many Rangers supporters have kindly pointed out that Celtic's qualification for the last 16 is not in fact valid because a number of fundamental football principles were ignored. Among these infractions, the most serious ones were: -

1. SOME OF CELTIC'S OPPONENTS MADE DEFENSIVE MISTAKES OR GOALKEEPING ERRORS WHICH CELTIC EXPLOITED TO SCORE GOALS.Celtic FC now accepts that it is unsporting to apply pressure on their opponents in the hope of capitalising on mistakes at some point in the course of a 90-minute match. The club had previously regarded this as a valid approach to creating scoring opportunities. Celtic FC apologises for this tactic and will never again try to benefit from their opponents' inability to handle this pressure.

2. CELTIC'S HAUL OF NINE POINTS FROM THREE MATCHES IS NULL AND VOID BECAUSE ALL THE POINTS WERE SECURED FROM HOME WINS.Celtic FC had previously been unaware of this rule and begs forgiveness for only recently discovering that seven points is better than nine if some of the seven points were won away from home. Celtic FC regrets this oversight.

3. LATE GOALS DO NOT COUNT.Celtic FC is at fault for believing that a goal scored towards the end of the game is worth the same as a goal scored at any other time. Had the club realised this, there would have been no need to feel any dismay after conceding a late goal to Benfica in Lisbon and Celtic FC now apologise for an inappropriate reaction to what has turned out to be a 0-0 draw.

4. GOALS DO NOT COUNT IF THE BALL IS DEFLECTED INTO THE NET.It can now be admitted that some of the club's employees are in the habit of shooting towards goal before the opposing defenders have had a chance to get out of the way and this unsporting practice can make it difficult for the goalkeeper to read the flight of the ball. This is a reprehensible tactic and Celtic FC undertakes to forbid its application forthwith. Henceforth, no Celtic player will be allowed to direct the ball goalwards if there is any danger of a goal resulting from a deflection.

5. CELTIC HAD SOME LUCKY BREAKS IN QUALIFYING.Admittedly, Celtic were very fortunate that Shaktar didn't take more advantage of their special dispensation to be allowed to control the ball with their hands, as Brandao did when he opened the scoring for Shaktar at Celtic Park. It was also fortuitous that AC Milan weren't awarded a soft penalty more than once when their forwards fell down dramatically in the penalty area. Luckier still was the fact that rival teams were not skillful enough to score more goals in the face of determined defending and goalkeeping by the Celtic players.

Celtic FC can only apologise to the faithful supporters of Rangers for the anguish and disappointment that they have endured in the wake of these violations of the Spirit of the Game.

Celtic FC hopes that this apology will save them from the tedium of mindlessly repeating the same posts on every thread, day after day.

from The Huddleboard

View From The Wing- Milan 1 Celtic 0

Strange thing happened in the empty belly of the uninterested San Siro last night. The game kicked off and right away it was obvious that it was a training exercise for both teams. The game was meandering along at walking pace when an almighty roar went up from the Hoops fans.

Watching on Tv there was no flicker, no split screen sudden reaction, no appearance of the infamous Sky sports info bar, a bar which, has been the bearer of bad news on many occasions. I thought someone was having a laugh wie the hoops support. You know the type, someone shouts in the crowd that thier grannies auntie has just texted to say some team is 1-0 up...it was like Love Street 85 all over again.

Sky, eventually caught up. Benfica were doing what i thought would be impossible for them, i mean, they were wearing scarfs and tammies, and were putting the dodgy defenced Ukrainians to the sword wie reletive ease. Something we couldnae do as another 3 away games bit the dust wie a big fat zero points once again in the bag.

Fortress Parkheid, the fabled and lauded floodlite arena, which has bristled, rocked and rolled over this CL group stage and before that the rollercoaster, which was Spartak Moscow, has once again proved the fans are as important to the team as tactics, ability and heart.

From the hardest non seeded team to the top pot four team via the European Champions and old foes, now friends for life, from Lisboa. We have once again, to quote a blessed, punched above or wait and created history by becoming the most successful Scottish club in CL history through qualifying from the group stages two seasons on the trot. That might end next week mind you....

Their is not much to say aboot last nights game. Milan went up a gear in the second half, while we continued wie oor canny hold or water away performance where players who are usually reliable become bungling fools, liable to run balls oot the park, pass to the opposition or look at the ball like it's a live grenade before booting as far up the park, to nae one, as possible.

Strange thing is, it's not aboot last night and ma muted celebration. We celebrated last week after a last minute goal against a team that spent more money than both us and Benfica. Maybe last week was the moment we knew, once again, we were going to qualify. I don't know but today is a day for reflection on another successful CL campaign. One achieved on the UEFA budget.

When the draw was made, it was said on these electronic pages that apart from Milan all other teams on their day could beat each other. What the difference was, was that we had the guns, the guts and we had the spirit to beat the Champions of Europe at home.

Those extra two points, plundered in the rain, of Milan were the difference between success and the UEFA cup. Heart, is oor managers buzzword and one thing we can take from this season is we have heart and i don't think we can fault the team for effort. They may lack the technical ability of Benfica and Donestk but onet thing these teams couldnae match was the heart and spirit shown at home.

So how do we progress? While the Donestk coach can bemoan missed chances his failure to shore up a suspect defence is the real reason they are bottom of the group. A £3o million spend didnae bring much success or defensive quality.

A bit like us, as in the summer we bolstered the midfield and attack. We could have suffered, last night we had 4 centre halves on the park and were missing the talisman Nakamura. We were at the bare bones and the fact that guys like McDonald, Aiden, Mick- Donestk apart- Hartley and JiriJaro all stood up and were counted, this reflects well on them but hides the lack of planing and luck involved.

As the players, manager, fans, chairmen and tea wifey say oor away form is the worry and the only way to improve that is to buy better players. As, Doneskt prove, spending big disnny mean success, guid scouting does.

The fact that we canny keep a clean sheet away from home is problem numero uno. Problem number duex is that oor full backs have lacked the ability to carry oot the attacking and defensive duties that oor manager demands. What i would do for a Snra and a Rat. Midfield, well we canny hold onto the ball so a "regista" type midfielder, an experienced short term option maybe to allow Donati to settle, is a must if the last eight is to be reached. Up front, Hesslelink has failed to reach the bar that we bought him for so a Cardoza type could be called for.....

So we are not too far away then....

Forza

Links of interest- 101 Great Goals (both from Milan and Donestk) Stv (Interviews wie Elvis, Mick, Hartley, Skippy, John Reid and the Manager)

Back to The Diary, Click here

View From The Terrace- Red Star v Partizan

View From The Wing- Hearts 1 Celtic 1

After the jubilation that we gave had from last minute goals this season, it was only karma that we would eventually be undone by a last minute goal. Now, before the game i would have took a point. After the game, well, the second half performance, I'm disappointed that we didnae take all three.

Usually, Tynecastle is awash wie vein popping hatred, bile so yellow it's like an alkies morning glory. Today, after the initial exchanges, the game developed into a scrappy, Sunday pub league affair, wie one team tired after their midweek efforts, another, just a limited team of foreigners and hard working British players. This caused the game and the crowd to become subdued in the December chill.

Not that the Jambos let a pesh game stop them booing nearly every player in a hoops jersey. I mean, they had a lot of excuses. One, it was Celtic. Two, two former heroes, one a legend, were lining up for their foes. Three, two former Hibees on the park. Four, the holy goalie, and finally their anti-Aiden-ness that means, Frank Macca's love child gets roundly abused anytime his streaked hairdo goes anywhere near the ball.

The fact that we stopped them booing the longer the game went on meant we were doing something right. The second half saw us getting to grips, sort of, wie the game, in the sense, instead playing the baw across the back then hoofing it to no one, we played the baw along the back and hoofed it to JVOH and Skippy. Broony, who didnae have his best day, two lung bursting tizer fuelled runs were wasted by poor passes, and Hartley will have creaks in their necks this evening.

Aiden and JiriJaro had not too bad games. In truth, i would struggle to name an outstanding hoop. JVOH was handled well by the SFA lackie in the black and the physical Hearts backline and Skippy looked tired but still waded in wie a poachers goal and took this blogger close to paying the drunken bet that he made by saying he widnae score 15 goals for us this season.

The backline? The direct approach and the useless-ness of the Les Ferdinand lookielikie upfront made Mick and Elvis look comfortable, yes, they had a few pot shots, decent chance in the first two minutes but Hearts were at home, O'Dea made a decent fist of looking like an over-lapping full back, which brings me to oor Gary Caldwell. The panto villain of East End, the widow twankie of parkheid, the man who brought war to the middle East and a man who i defend, today done the indefensible when an act of naivety and folly cost us the points.

After, Arfur had made a superb save, only Caldwell can answer what was going through his mind when he pushed the Hearts player in the back. The Hearts player wisnny in a scoring position and, i think, was only trying to run the baw oot for a corner. No matter, his and Elvis's, laughable protests at the final whistle, if the incident had happened up the other end i would expect a pen. A rash decision that caused us two points.

Still, all in maybe we didnae deserve to win, we never completely controlled the game and it wisnny pleasing on the eye but after a gruelling CL week and a massive CL week coming up, a trip oot of the sess pool of Gorgie, where yer rivals got a doing, wie a point, which was only a point due to yer own failings canny be grumbled aboot.

Aye, it kin. Gary now better score that wonder goal on Tuesday night.

Forza

Ps Goals here