Official Apology from Celtic FC to the Bears

Over the last few days, many Rangers supporters have kindly pointed out that Celtic's qualification for the last 16 is not in fact valid because a number of fundamental football principles were ignored. Among these infractions, the most serious ones were: -

1. SOME OF CELTIC'S OPPONENTS MADE DEFENSIVE MISTAKES OR GOALKEEPING ERRORS WHICH CELTIC EXPLOITED TO SCORE GOALS.Celtic FC now accepts that it is unsporting to apply pressure on their opponents in the hope of capitalising on mistakes at some point in the course of a 90-minute match. The club had previously regarded this as a valid approach to creating scoring opportunities. Celtic FC apologises for this tactic and will never again try to benefit from their opponents' inability to handle this pressure.

2. CELTIC'S HAUL OF NINE POINTS FROM THREE MATCHES IS NULL AND VOID BECAUSE ALL THE POINTS WERE SECURED FROM HOME WINS.Celtic FC had previously been unaware of this rule and begs forgiveness for only recently discovering that seven points is better than nine if some of the seven points were won away from home. Celtic FC regrets this oversight.

3. LATE GOALS DO NOT COUNT.Celtic FC is at fault for believing that a goal scored towards the end of the game is worth the same as a goal scored at any other time. Had the club realised this, there would have been no need to feel any dismay after conceding a late goal to Benfica in Lisbon and Celtic FC now apologise for an inappropriate reaction to what has turned out to be a 0-0 draw.

4. GOALS DO NOT COUNT IF THE BALL IS DEFLECTED INTO THE NET.It can now be admitted that some of the club's employees are in the habit of shooting towards goal before the opposing defenders have had a chance to get out of the way and this unsporting practice can make it difficult for the goalkeeper to read the flight of the ball. This is a reprehensible tactic and Celtic FC undertakes to forbid its application forthwith. Henceforth, no Celtic player will be allowed to direct the ball goalwards if there is any danger of a goal resulting from a deflection.

5. CELTIC HAD SOME LUCKY BREAKS IN QUALIFYING.Admittedly, Celtic were very fortunate that Shaktar didn't take more advantage of their special dispensation to be allowed to control the ball with their hands, as Brandao did when he opened the scoring for Shaktar at Celtic Park. It was also fortuitous that AC Milan weren't awarded a soft penalty more than once when their forwards fell down dramatically in the penalty area. Luckier still was the fact that rival teams were not skillful enough to score more goals in the face of determined defending and goalkeeping by the Celtic players.

Celtic FC can only apologise to the faithful supporters of Rangers for the anguish and disappointment that they have endured in the wake of these violations of the Spirit of the Game.

Celtic FC hopes that this apology will save them from the tedium of mindlessly repeating the same posts on every thread, day after day.

from The Huddleboard