Inept Inverness Get What’s Theirs

Sucky, sucky baby...

Inversenkie in a midweek game at CP is always one that fills you wie unhappy memories of Wright, Viduka, Berkovic and Burley. A game, that night, when the weather was terrible and a certain Barry Robson was part of a team that conjured up the tag line “Super Caley go ballistic and Celtic are atrocious. Unhappy night indeed.

After the “performance” at Love Street oor week got off to a bad start wie oor manager- in his now familiar position of fighting his corner in front of the suits- getting his touchline ban reduced but not rescinded. Can someone please explain to me how can the charge of unacceptable conduct be upheld but the punishment be reduced? How can one paper- The Daily Ragger- call it as a partial victory and another- The Daily Mail- call it as an outright victory?

So did he win or was it an amicable solution to the situation? Also did the jobs worth, Hilteresq, fuckwit of a £5.35 per hour yellow bibbed tit get a suspension for sticking his ugly puss into a situation that had sod all to do wie him? Why did he not report it to the polis like any other busybody wid have done? Why did he not just stick to picking up crisp pokes and watching the game for he haw, which is his joab description?

The lack of a manager in the dugoot- Garry Pendry did his best expectant father watching an under 8 game routine on the touchline, shouting, pointing, jumping up and doon- didnae make much difference to the ootcome of the game. There was never ANY DANGER of ICT getting a point or points from CP.

The walk to CP, was so much different from last Wednesday night when The Blaugranes rolled into toon wie their Eto’s, Ronaldhino and Henrys. For one, I could get into the LRT for a pre-match beer, as, we had arrived at 7.05pm- unlike last week when the volume of traffic meant we didnae arrive to 7.35pm, now the attendance was stated as 57,000, a thousand less than last week but the lack of traffic and bodies said a lot mair than the official attendance- and it wis busy but not it’s usual jam packed raucous self.

Managed to get into the ground nae probs, nae queuing this week in the drizzle singing Hoops songs, and while last weeks wander up to Area 412 was hairs standing up on the back of ma neck exciting, last night the scene of empty seats, lack of atmosphere and lack of excitement meant a long cauld night was ahead.

As i was watching the players going through their training drills, parker hood up, scarf up roond ma nose, looked like a MOD ninja, i wonder if i was supping a Hoopy pint made from Hoopy hops- as Mr Boyle from Motherwell wishes, an irony there, a guy from Lanarkshire wanting a drink- would make the CP experience any better.

Now, while it would defo improve the in-house catering customer service- if they were serving drink, you can bet yer bottom dollar the service would be quicker, mair money for the suits- the thought of having a beer sitting ootside, on a cauld winter night, wie a bladder as weak as Lee Naylor’s crossing disnae appeal.

But having a wee beer in the bowls of the stadium having blether, in comfort- the LRT can get a bit sweaty and bumpy at times- does appeal. So I’m for allowing it in the bowls of the stadium but not in the stands. I mean, imagine how many pint tumblers wid have been thrown at Gary Caldwell last week?

The lack of colour- apart from The GB’s fantastic Brother Walfrid banner- and noise greeted the start of the game. Unlike last week ICT wie their Blaugranes type tops were not likely to put up the show we got last week. The only thing that ICT had that resembled Barca was their tops. They certainly didnae have the flair or the ability to attack. Not that they wanted to or got the chance to.

It them makes me laugh when I read Craig Brewster’s comments concerning last nights ootcome. Like Uncle Fester Macpherson before him he reckon his team had played superbly and deserved something oot of the game. Yes, but only if you watched the final 10 mins of a game that was the most comfortable 2-1 you are ever likely to see. For 80mins, Arfur could have sat and read a paper, he didnae have a save to make all night and only due to a Caldwellesq error from the golden child then he wid have been able to go hame wieoot having a shower.

Again, a team gets plaudits for doing he haw in a game apart from running aboot and being difficult to break doon. *update*- STV have just said ICT were “Dogged and determined”…bawbaggery of the highest order. Canny ever remember Charlie Christies Caley being as boring.

When Caley scored, I must admit, the thoughts of another 15min collapse did run through my heid. That day in Inverness a stupid mistake- like the one last night- let Caley back into the game just before half time and we were also playing well up until that mistake.

Naka, Aiden, Georgios, Donati, Skippy and Hinkel were all stretching the ICT packed defence and giving performances that were above decent. All were looking comfortable on the ba’ and going forward- which, we did solidly for 80mins- this sometimes was the undoing and probably part of the moans that we didnae reach the heights of those fabled Killie and Aberdeen performances.

It’s great having players that are comfortable on the ba’ in oor domestic game. Yes, sometimes these creative players get caught thinking aboot their next move or pass and can get lost- or hoofed- under the weight of the hatchet thugs that double as SPL midfielders and defenders. But last night we weren’t ruthless enough, the ba’ players wanted that extra touch, wanted to beat that extra man or wanted to try and find that extra pass for the perfect goal.

This leads to passing for passing sake and seemingly directional less fitba’ that those who want a blood and snotters, hoof and thunder type Scottish game will be left saying that we were absolutely shite wie no energy, drive or effort.

How, no-one can not marvel at Naka and Aiden floating round the park trying to create, Skippy beating defenders for fun- while still looking slightly oot of sorts- oor right back playing as a winger- and, again, proving he will be a good addition- a CM being forward thinking and a striker dragging defenders oot wide and proving he has a bag as tricks like Paul Daniels not watchable or ingredients of a decent performance then, really, what do they want?

Do they want us to revert to November / December Hoops, humping aimless ba’s to JVOH heid wie him not having a hope in Naylor of getting them? At least we are trying to play the game correctly and wie some sort of vision. We are also getting results, which is important in this run in. Mair goals wid be a pleasure as well. We need to find oor mair direct passing and ruthless streak that we had a few weeks back. Easter Road, Saturday morning wid be a great time to do it.

On Sunday, I said Georgios of the junglios looked oot of sorts and had a poor game. Last night he showed why he was brought here in the first place but he also showed why he was unsuccessful at Man Citee.

He is as slippery as an eel, loves playing deeper and in the channels but had the tendency- like awe oor ba’ players last night- to overcook things, run into blind alleyways and sometimes his second touch was a tackle.

He scored and showed enough of his talents- pace, skill, decent awareness- to think that he is worth preserving wie. He is not a replacement for JVOH. He is more mobile and not a box type player. Unsure if he will find much success against the deep laying defences we play against but his attributes will be devastating if given space and if he fancies it.

I must congratulate the Celtic support for mass hypocrisy. It’s nice to see that Scott Broon got the same treatment as Gary Calderbuer last week and the boo’s were heard loud and proud after his school boy error.

Nice to see that “The Golden Child” tag that the medija have seem to have bestowed on him- this tag means that one can not be criticised, while Johnny Foreigner, i.e. Massimo Donati or JVOH, get abuse due to, what I think, the fact they are not Scottish- seems to have been adopted by sections of the Hoops support.

We have seem to have been blinded by the FACT we won the war wie der Hun for his signing, which means that he canny be questioned. If it was Paul Hartley that was turning in these types of performances I reckon he would have been hung by his beard by now.

The question has to be why is Broon the only constant in the midfield four when his performances are not worthy of a start? Is he the only player GS trusts to play in the advanced role when all the midfielders that have started in recent weeks have played in that role?

While, I’m never going to moan aboot having players that are comfortable on the ba’ and will use skill rather than brawn to win games, the nagging doubt that we lack balance between the two still remains and I’m yet to be convinced that we will win a kicking match.

Oor team is a ying and yang. From us being comfortable on the ba from middle to front oor back three- I’m discounting Hinkel from this as he can play a bit- are shocking when they have time on the ba’.

Teams will soon learn- esp if they are playing wie one up top- to let Calderbuer, Naylor and Mick have the ba’ as nuthin will come from them having the ba’ apart from a long aimless punt up the park, a misplaced pass or a pass back or sideways to another of the three stooges, as by that point the loan striker will be covering Hinkel.

They will learn that all oor moves stop or dinnae start when one of them have the ba’. Worrying thing is that oor full backs are paramount to the way we play and if one of them cannae be trusted to make decent use of possession then oor style of play ends up very one-sided and unbalanced.

This morning, Spew Heevins took great pleasure in announcing to the slumbering world that “Der Hun prosper while Celtic falter”. Last time ah looked ya wee weasel we took three points last night. I suppose that opening gambit was better than “Der Hun beat injury ravaged Mini Huns”

If us faltering means us winning games and playing well within oor capabilities then bring it on. The agenda is there for all to see, they will love it if we lose the league…we need to stop that.

Forza

Lousy At Love Street But Not Naka’d.

"You saved ma Italian arse wee man"

Strange week, a week in the fitba’ world. Don’t think any bookie in their right mind would have gave you odds on Gary Calderbuer ending the week as a winning Celtic captain. Think Big Mick McManus must have a sick, perverse sense of humour. This was proved when he handed the capitano armband over to Calderbuer and I wonder if, like me, he was laughing at thought of “fans” up and doon the land going apeshit and booing at their Tv.

From Barca to The Buddies, a comedoon akin to the way you would feel after a night oot wie Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse. The European hangover, a fabled beast that rings true all over Europe after midweek games- unless the fixture computer gives you easy hame games post midweek excretions against a team relegated and bust- a beast that makes you ripe for a kicking if the opposition want to take advantage.

When you look at the surroundings that the players ran oot to yesterday it’s nae wonder the players get a culture shock. From 58,000 passionate fans to an emptyish stadium- still wie a vocal and passionate away support- which looks half cocked, unfinished and it’s appearance will be vastly improved when a 24-hour Asda is fired up in its place.

The main stand is on one side partnered wie moss ridden never used terracing wie a banner “Supras” hanging from a disused advertising hoarding- some of the St Mirren “Supras” were shown on Setanta beforehand, oldest was 10 and his two-stick banner looked like a panda on acid after being spooked by his own shadow, not that I’m slagging anyone trying to bring a bit of life back to modern fitba’, I love what the Green Brigade and other groups, apart from Hun ones, are trying to do and it should be encouraged, the quicker we get away from this Soccer AM type “fan” the better- and on the other side of the stand is a car park used by the emergency services.

Not exactly a modern crème de la crème European venue but a venue that pay the bills and a venue that for us to return to the crème de la crème modern European arenas we need to win at. Yesterday, a win was all aboot we can take from the game.

After 10 minutes, I thought we were in for an easy afternoon. We had three corners and around 70% of the possession- Setanta said it was 50-50 the LOTW calculator thought differently- so it looked like the early goal would come. When it didnae oor play developed into the sort of unimaginative turgid shite we put up wie against Fawkirk and for the whole of December.

For me, it’s no coincidence that oor worst display in weeks came when we dropped Nakamura. This meant we only had one outlet from the midfield and Aiden after a bright start, started to fade like the rest of the team and found combination of Van Zanten and Dorman a harder nut to crack than Carlos Puyol.

No surprise either that Donati, while have a quiet effective game, all the same, seemed a bit nullified only having one ootlet to find and he must have ended the game wie a creak in his neck to the left such was the frequency of the passes oot into that direction.

The dropping of Naka maybe was justified on paper. He was poor against Barca and since he has returned has not hit the heights of last season. But fitba’ is not played on paper and can we take from yesterdays game that Barry Robson on the right will not offer the same ootlet and creative force that a not 100% Naka does?

Oor fullbacks, where or attacks start from mostly, were terrible in possession wie Lee Naylor in particular proving that his ba’ for JVOH the other night was a once a lifetime cross never to be seen this side of Hayley’s Comet again. I’m wondering if Mark Wilson is fancying a wee shot at LB as he canny be any worse but it’s a sad state of affairs when I’m advocating a right fiter to play LB.

Andy Hinkel, like a fine wine improved as the game wore on. He had a decent last 15 minutes- again proving that he will be a decent signing when up to speed- but a forgettable 75 before hand. But, he did enough...just for me not to start thinking aboot the heady days of Paul Telfer.

Georgios of the junglios got his first start after JVOH tore his tights, again, against Barcelona. After watching JVOH prove to his doubters that he has got a worth over the last few weeks watching the misfiring Samaras was not a comfortable watch.

Georgios, re splendid in is banana boots, struggled after a lively start. One ba’ in he second half that he tried to cross was last seen worrying the flight path into John Smeaton International Airport. His “party trick” of cutting in from the wing to shoot, will produce fantastic goals but will only come off occasionally. Is he a one trick pony? That remains to seen but to write him off and send him back to Eastland’s after one dreadful performance is just sheer folly.

So if it wisnny for Naka and his party trick we would probably today be staring at the dying embers of a season that promised so much. Instead, a last few minutes winner, a quality winner at that means we are dusting oorselves doon ready for ICT putting Sunday doon to another bad day at the office.

The game followed a similar path to the hame game in December. Us, all the possession, The Buddies scared to come over the half way line but being “up” for it. That day in December it took a quality strike to equalise from the long forgotten Derek Rioirdon. On Sunday it took a magical free kick to win the game.

They can bleat all they want on the phone ins, message boards and in print. Naka got touched and went doon. He left the decision up to the MIB- who was terrible- like all guid professionals should. The MIB decision is the only one that matters. If the opposition player is slightly rash or has slightly mistimed, had a wee tug then the players should be going doon.

Yes, the decision was soft, yes I would be annoyed if it was giving against us but Naka asked the question of the MIB. It’s just that in oor leagues the MIB are that terrible that 9 oot of 10 times they will call it wrong.

When the free kick was giving we knew what was coming. We knew that oor last chance- a chance that always comes when watching the Hoops, that’s 9 games we have scored in the last 10 mins now, lucky ma arse- had arrived. We knew if it went across the wall it was in.

Ma nerves were shot by this point. I was physically shaking, thinking to maeself I would rather win by 5 goals every week instead of putting maeself through this. The Japanese Genius done the only thing of note since coming off the bench by bending the ba’ over the wa’ and in.

I could just picture the scene at Ipox, in boozers up and doon the land as the orcs contemplated our jammyness and lucky taigism. Us, winning ugly and late always brings the same post match review Setanta.

In the studio Rob McLean- the fulcrum of Setanta Sports- tried to get Macca and BBJ to admit we had been lucky barstewards. He failed both stayed true to their roots and pointed oot that while not playing well Celtic ground oot a deserved win.

Over in The Buddies camp the recriminations and sair loserness was flying aboot. Uncle Fester McPherson was staying true to his roots by bemoaning the free kick award, he touched, he went doon, the MIB decided, get over it and spouted pish aboot St Mirren competing and deserving to win the game never mind lose, a view that Setanta wanted to peddle like a drug dealer dealing his wares to desperate junkies.

For me that’s bolloxs. The team that deserved to win won. Unlike 3 weeks ago against Fawkirk when we did rob the points. Yesterday, unlike three weeks ago, there was only one team trying to win the game. St Mirren competed by parking Jose’s bus across the 18 yard line.

Unlike Fawkirk they didnae try and play fitba’. They deserved to get the proverbial kick in the bawbag wie a late goal. I understand and fully accept why teams play this way against “bigger” sides. I just don’t like the viewing that running around awe energetic and wieoot purpose is classed as competing. Fawkirk, Dundee Utd, Hearts and ICT have all sat in but played wie purpose when they have had the ba’. Twice I have seen St Mirren and twice they huvnae tried a leg to have purpose. Feck, even Gretna attacked at CP…

So to all the lucky peddlers and St Mirren did well brigade, youse got what you deserved. He haw…..yer two chances came from Celtic mistakes, not purposeful play before you peddle that line…..

To finish, I see in today’s Glasgow Herald- the broadloid to end all broadloids- Darryl Broadfoot has been listening to the game on his “bearphones” and he must have shared them wie Hugh Keevins who has just backed up his view on Radio Clyde.

He said

The songbook was distasteful at best and sectarian at its worst. In a five-minute burst during one of the many lulls in Celtic's play, they chanted about how Artur Boruc hates the Huns', made reference to orange bastards' and mocked the sectioning of Paul Gascoigne under the Mental Health Act with chants of let's all laugh at Gazza' and Gazza's a psycho'.

Now, I cant really comment as I wisnny at the game but….having watched the game on the TV and spoken to fans that were there- whose views I trust mair than Mr Broadfoots- then I really hope the SSM is sending a wee lawyers letter to the Heard offices asking Mr Broadfoot to detail the minutes he heard the songs he found sectarian, asking him to define why HUN is sectarian and why he husnae slated numerous medija outlets for making fun of Gazza and his parrots.

As I’m sure Only An Excuse and Off The Ball will get years worth of material oot of that.

Broadfoot has once again proved he is just a prick wie an agenda….

Forza

Mesmerised By Messi and Miffed By The Moans.

I remember saying that I would only “blog” once a week. I would try and update the comments mair often and not let the blog be a vehicle for ma diatribe. Kept telling maeself that people don’t want to read yer rubbish, they want to be read and talk aboot Celtic.

So, last night, when I was wide awake in bed the thought of doing another blog entered ma heid. Ma reasoning behind doing this was I had to many things on ma mind after the game and the egotistical self-centred opinionated bawbag I am- please note all webmasters / bloggers are egotistical self-centred opinionated bawbags, why else would they give up their time to do this? is not the money, that, and they are also sad and have nae life- thinks; hopes that from Paris to Houston via Coventry want to hear them.

Ma feelings of awe, rage, wonder and doon right “Bunch of arses these fecking fans” need to be heard. Haven’t been trawling the Timternet today wie ma usual passion, the things I have read have wetted ma powder though...

Last night, was magical, it was great. It was the reason we pay to go to the fitba’, the unfortunate thing was oor team got ripped a new one, so to speak, but at the same time it was great to watch. At no time last night did any one of the 14 players used by oor manager let us doon.

Yes, they proved that they are not, collectively, able to compete against the crème de la crème, that oor failings, that we all knew existed, will be ruthlessly exposed at that level and that, really, we are only in the CL to pick up the cheque, say “Thanks, see ya next year” wieoot troubling the status quo.

But last night was not aboot that. Last night, like a lot of others we have enjoyed recently, became a fresh memory, a fresh “I was there” conversation topic doon the pub. We done what we could last night, yes, disappointed as we could have done better in the second half, but we took part in a game that will be remembered for what happened on and off the park for a long, long time.

A game that even the Scottish medija canny, surely, find a bad word aboot. Unbelievably though I found a fair few “fans” that had nothing guid to say aboot the performance, they got their panto villain, whose effigy will be burned doon the London Road at the next hame game if they get their way and left wie faces like fizz when the third goal went in.

It all started off so well too. Too perfect really, in hindsight.

I got into the ground early. Well, 7.35pm early. I heard the end of the “Barcelona Anthem”- I thought it was anyway? - as I was running up the stairs, I then got to the entrance of area 412, which looks directly over to the auld Celtic end.

The scene that met me was awe-inspiring. Thousands of green, white and yellow flags were being waved, the “Welcome To Paradise” banner draped over the top tier along wie various other CSC banners. The end was singing, swaying and belting out “Hail Hail” drowning oot the PA.

Went down the front of Area 412. The Green Brigade had hung a banner over to the main lads in the section below. The section below was a sea of waving flags, including a Catalonia flag, the banner stated wie impressive intent “Roar Like Lions”. Now, I could see the whole stadium was energetic.

A look across to the “away end” and I was impressed wie the numbers of travelling. 2000 Cules were bouncing, singing and waving their colourful flags and instead of standing a gawping in wonder at the noise coming from the rest of the arena they were adding to it.

YNWA, started and as I stood looking all around I wondered if there was any better place in Europe. The displays were anarchic, spontaneous European, colourful and messes, which is great. Much better than the holding up the cards, spelling out a message type ones. These displays were on a par wie anything I have seen in Europe and were carried off wie as much passion as any Turk, Greek, Italian or Spaniard.

The game started and like a blue and purple blurs Messi started pulling the strings. We talk aboot Aiden McGeady being special but Messi is SPECIAL. Finds space as easily as a wimin will spend money, will expose a full back as often as the naked rambler exposes himself to the public and has the workrate of a tourist camel in Egypt.

But we scored against the run of play. For all the ba’ they had we scored and looked dangerous when we could get the ba’. The mercurial Messi equalised then, the out of his depth looking for 38 minutes Barry Robson, scored to put us 2-1 up.

The six minutes from Robson’s goal to half time was a magical moment in the history of the rebuilt CP. We started looking like we were going to get a third in that spell, yes, maybe I’m getting a bit carried away but when Aiden was running at Puyol during that period I BELIEVED that we could score a third, and I looked around the stadium.

Over to ma right, top corner of the Lisbon Lions upper tier, about four sections and at least 20 rows in each section were all standing up, waving their flags, scarfs, tops, jumping up and doon and going ape.

All around the ground you could see pockets of the ground singing, dancing and bloody enjoying the FACT that we were leading 2-1, enjoying that we were beginning to believe that we could do it. Half time came and it all changed.
The hope was replaced wie the cynical snipping and rounding on players. It was replaced by the misplaced myth that we don’t lose at CP to anyone, a myth peddled to death by the medija. This myth means that rational thinking goes oot the windae.

Don’t get me wrong, Gary Calderbuers schoolbhoy error is unacceptable at any level of fitba’. It is a mistake made up and doon Sunday parks every weekend by a hungover 20 stane 40 year old but was it the time and place to turn on him?

I mean, when the ba’ fell to buck tooth Ronnie and he slid the ba’ to Henry there was still a hell of a lot for him to do, yes, if the ba’ had been in the stands then Terry widnae have had the chance, and it was a wonder goal- one I had to stop maeself applauding- a goal I don’t think will be bettered this week.

So, Calderbuers was the initial error, an error that led to a flash of genius and probably cost all oor chances of a draw going oot the windae. But, that is wie hindsight. We didnae know at the time that Barca would boost on and produce their best display of the season, though in the proceeding 6 minutes before the goal did indicate that it was in the post.

We still had 38 minutes after the “error” for us to regain the lead and for Calderbuer to make amends. Nah, lets forget that, lets just boo Calderbuer every time he gets the ba’. That’s the third time I have heard a Celtic player be booed, by his own fans, at CP. Balde, after a mistake against Livingstone, and Sno, against Hearts, being the other ones.

Should I expect anything less? I mean, the people who done this are probably the ones that booed Larsson when he scored for Barca against us. It just acceptable nowadays to pick a scapegoat and boo, abuse and hope he fails no matter the detriment to the team doing this causes.

As the half got worse for us, or better for a neutral, hun or any fitba’ fan, the moans, the strange shouts and groans got worse. Oor defence was terrible so was oor midfield, mumblings of the words “not Celtic class” could be heard.

Samaras was showing why he was only a loan signing from Man Citee, Strachan hudnae a fecking clue, Brouc was kicking the ba’ wrong- yes, really- Aiden’s a bit overrated he has done feck all this second half, Lee Naylor was pesh, it’s only Messi for fecks sake, and EVERY loose ba’ was meet wie abuse.

It reached a new low, or high, when Ronnie was getting subbed. Not usually one for clapping opposition players, somehow canny see me clapping the Stankmonster of the park in the next derby right enough, but somehow it felt right to applaud one of the worlds greatest players off one of the greatest European arenas pitch. No?

He had also been heavily involved in the best away team performance I have seen at CP EVER. It tops PSG in 95. The fitba’ fan in me wanted to do it. Yes, I applauded Henry as well, even after his arrogant French celebration. All I could think at that point was how lucky The Arse Fans had been seeing him for all those years, like us wie Henke.

You probably shouldnae applaud the opposition of the park. Probably just the same as you shouldnae play the oppositions club anthem before the game or wave the flag of your opponents in the pre-match build up.

Difference is, I really think deep doon, we all know that Barca are not oor rivals. Yes, we want to beat them, and we gave it a guid go, but they are not going to stop us winning silverware that we have a chance of winning or achieving what we want, and we did achieve by qualifying for the last 16.

I don’t think the Celtic support would EVER applaud a team or players of a team that are rivals. Rivals that can hurt us in the race for the goals we have set like winning the league, Scottish Cup or qualifying for the CL. I canny remember the Moscow winger- Bystrov? - being applauded when he was destroying Lee Naylor at CP and I canny for the life of me ever see a hun, Hearts, Hibs or Dundee Utd player being applauded off if their team was 3-2 up at Parkheid.

For me that’s the difference but if you saw some of the reaction and read some of the reaction then you would have thought we had applauded Osama, McCoist, Hately and Souness onto the park to do the paradise windfall draw.

After the winning goal, after 35 minutes of pure, pure fitba’ where I was fearing for the scoreline but in awe of the performance, the usual dull thud of the green bucket seats tipping up could be heard just over the expletives being shouted.

A look around and they were leaving in droves wie their faces like fizz, bemoaning Gary Caldwell, Strachan, The Board, The Floodlights, and that they wanted a decent get away to beat the traffic.

The drink-tinged vocal of “Celtic, Celtic” started up before most had reached the exit and the game had re-started. The game kicked off and the only in defeat aired song “We are Celtic Supporters faithful through and through” was in full cry and low and behold the irony those who were streaming oot were joining in…..

The Barca fans knowing the game was now a bogey sung “Celtic, Celtic” and waved their anti-hun banners, I’m hoping that that gesture was due to them being impressed wie oor teams performance and not some ideological thinking that oor clubs are politically linked, which we are, but it’s very tedious, but one thing, it is true is that we are both more than a club.

Final whistle went and the entire tired and emotional crowd stood as a man to applaud oor teams effort, first and foremaist you always applauded your teams effort and as the Barca players swarmed to their Cules we applauded them. We applauded the Cules for their efforts as well.

Still, the moans were continuing doon the stairs and I laughed at the moaners thinking these are probably the guys who booed Calderbuer then sang “Faithful through and through” and think nuthin of it. Them singing that wee song, buying the top, buying the view and attending the European experience means he is a fan.

I always thought the Celtic support was one for decent sportsmanship and backing of the team through think and thin. Yes, success has breed an ugly side to the new fan and I must admit this new fan seems to be mair vocal when abusing and moaning than us, who, no matter how bad the players are playing who will shout encouragement and then moan on the bus on the way hame.

On thing aboot Wednesday night that I think shows me the new fan is not welcome at CP in my book and is a scourge of the modern game.

If you canny appreciate great fitba’, know your teams place in the grand scheme of things and are willing to boo players as the game is going on, then you can fuck, right, off.

Petty minded medija driven- and Internet message board- blunderbuss shouldnae come into yer thinking but the modern fan like sheep. Nae brains and they will believe what they are told what a fan is.

So, to Barcelona. Where I’m going to show that we are the best travelling support in the world, well, it would be rude not to let Laporta doon, and to support ma team to a 2-0 victory in the Camp Nou. If it disnny happen and we crash oot the competition it won’t be through lack of support or effort from the players.

I’m sure the travelling fans like- the vast majority at CP on Wednesday- will be thinking the same.

Forza

The Celts v Barca - FT 2-3

Well, the Bhoys were chasing shadows in that second half.

Unfortunately the poor passing and cheap mistakes we were making in the first half continued, so we made an already difficult task impossible for ourselves.

A schoolboy error from Gary Cauldwell led to an early equalizer (51min).
And it was no real surprise when Messi eventually knocked in the winner with 10 mins to go.

Once Barca snuffed out the threat posed by Aiden, we just had too many players unable to step up a level.

Tonight, Barcelona played REALLY well - exhibition football - a masterclass even.
To be honest I don't remember ever seeing a team play so well against us.

We were outplayed - especially in the second half - BUT the Bhoys kept fighting till the end.
We tried to play football - but we came up against better than us - MUCH better than us - no shame to lose tonight.


Wilson (for Caddis), Donati (for Hartley) and Sammy (for Jan) all did their bit.

Well done to the fans who never gave up - the singing and encouragement came thru loud and clear.

The Celts v Barca - HT 2-1

Some great football on display by both teams.
Barca as expected enjoying most of the possession and chances.

BUT the Celts are here - on the two occasions we've put them under real pressure we have come away with two goals.

The first a great header from Jan (16min) after good work by Skippy and Aiden.

That was cancelled out just two minutes later by Messi, latching on to a Deco pass inside the box.

Oor Barry Robson's looping header put the Celts ahead again in 38min.

A lot of uncharacteristic edginess to our passing. Also giving away possession cheaply.

If we can tighten up and start to put them under a bit more sustained pressure...

Crowd are in great voice - I hope they will still be singing at the end.

C'Mon the Bhoys !!!

The Celts v Barca - Preamble

Football - the Beautiful game.

Celtic Park will in a few hours time provide the perfect backdrop.

Those lucky enough to be there - MAKING the atmosphere - will see some of the world's best players in action (you know the names...). Countless other Tims, like myself, will be kicking every ba' and singing every word in front of telly and internet screens in EVERY corner of the globe.

This is what all the hard slog was for - all those crappy games at Falkirk and Dundee and Inverness and Govan, in hail, rain AND freezing sleet.
So that we can be present on the Big Stage - up there with the best.

The working clothes are laid aside, 'cos...
... this eveing we don the guid suits
... tonight we dine at Paradise!

Make them suffer Bhoys!!!

Starting lineup could look like this:
-----------Artur
Hartley--Mick--Caldwell--Naylor
Naka--Robson--Donati--Aiden
----Skippy---------Jan

I expect to see Sammy strutting his stuff as from 60minutes.

“One Man Loves The Mo, The Massimo Donati”

Really must admit, the Prostar figures are a lot better than the Mircostar figures. I mean, look at Naka he is towering over Hleb and Jens Lehmann but he is not as big as the Guinness, who is quite Bobo imposing alongside the others. I’m sure he is not bitter, he is the only Timmy in the range and der Hun are conspicuous in their absence from the 2006 range.

Now, you may be wondering why I have two arses on ma desk. They were a “secret Santa” pressie. There were three of them in the pack but one was FergieHun the uncarded. He was taken from ma clutches for his own well-being..of course the FACT two arses were in the packet wisnae anything to do wie THAT packet being bought.

So Naka lines up alongside Martins, Evra- both available in home and away kits-,Mascherano, Cole, Giggs and a wee gander at their website shows you can get Stan P in 2004’s bottle green away kit, Bobo, Henri Camara(!), Juninho(!) and for 35 quid you can get the Lisboa Lions full team complete wie Big Jock casting his shadow over the whole of Scottish Figurine world....

So why can we only get Naka? What happens if yer ankle bitter wants Aiden McGeady or a Hesslelink? What if you want a Mick McManus to police yer desk wie uncompromising style, a Gary Calderbuer to kick yer post in notes off yer desk, a Scott McDonald to take up half yer terminal screen due to the size of his erse or an Arfur Boruc to bless the place that you work?

Or what if like me you want a Massimo Donati? You want an enigmatic dyed hair Italian to grace yer desk, to appear for 10 to 15mins spells, too brighten up yer day then disappear for the remaining hour or so before appearing again trying to “World Cup Ba’” yer tippex to Phil Neville on the desk behind you?

I want a Massimo so at least one would be sold, as where I sit in the stadium I think I’m the only Massimo “fan” in the section. Judging by the Timternet I think there is only one Massimo fan in every section….must be lonely for the £10m reject© The Daily Ragger…..

Ok, I know he has faded from his early promise and yes some of his performances have been heidscratching to say the least. Mind you, when he lost form the whole of the team lost form at the same time so maybe it wisnae only just him that needed a boot up the archie.

Still, he has had some howlers. The CIS Cup game against Hearts was a shocker. Donestk at CP was another shocker- his first pass missed it’s target by 20 yards. Ipox? Guilty yer honour, posted missing like all 11 Hoops that day.

But, what about the moments of beauty and skill? His goals against Hearts and Aberdeen being the perfect examples. What aboot the sheer thrill of his last minute winner against Donestk? Some feat after 80 odd minutes of not being able to hit coo’s arse wie a banjo.

Over the last few games he has done enough, for me- I reckon this has been his most consistent spell, which is maybe not saying much-, not to get placed in the Tommy Gravesen lost cause category. Mo, was heading doon that round according to some but unlike “The Grav” time was always on Massimo’s side. While “The Grav” had trawled his arse roond Europe, Massimo was dipping his big toe ootside Italy for the first time.

He is a player that the game seems to pass by but if you watch closely he probably has mair touches on the ba’ than you think. He does the simple pass, most forward I may add, but he only seems to get noticed when he tries the “World Cup Ba’” or the forward thinking pass that disnae come off.

Then we get to the crux of the matter why I like the big Italian Stallion. Yes, he like The Grav and Jiri Jaro before him, has his failings. Yes, I worry that he could go missing in every game he plays, esp against der Hun where he could get booted and hassled oot the park and yes, I worry that he tackles like a big Jessie at times.

But, I temper that wie the fact, he can create, he can score and he likes playing wie ba’ players, which thankfully we have in the midfield. Unlike some will berate him for trying to do what he does well, well.

Saturday, perfect example. Scott Broon- who in the eyes of the antidonatibrigade cannae do no wrong- tried to recreate Massimo’s woeful first pass against Donestk. He did recreate wie and he did it wie knobs on. The ba’ missed it’s target- Lee Naylor, who was also Massimo’s target that night- by the length of the London Road.

Were there howls of venom raining doon from the stands towards Broony? Wis there heck, it was meet wie muted applause and a few “Unlucky Son”. Cast yer mind back and remember Massimo’s effort? The screams of green murder burst eardrums all over the East End.

So what’s the difference? I will praise any player that tries something to take the team forward. Something that shows a bit of vision, intelligence and taking a risk, as long as the risk is in the correct area.

I get annoyed when guys berate Naka or Aiden for trying to beat a man. I get annoyed wie guys that have a go at Skippy or Jan for having a shot at goal. But I really get annoyed at Donati seems to get abuse while Skoosh can run up blind alleyways, have a first touch as bad as I have ever seen and misplace passes but gets the auld line “He’s young and he will learn”

Bolloxs.

Broony doing all of the above is no different to Massimo trying to switch play, trying to find that forward pass and trying to keep possession. While Broony will emit a Duracell bunny energy, which is loved by us cavemanic Scots, and will, rightly, get praised it’s easier to notice than what Massimo does. But what Massimo does is just as important.

I reckon if we show the Big Man the love, then we will get performances from him. So the next time we see him give him a big hug and a box of milk tray. Or just cheer him on Wednesday night when he fires a ba’ straight to Xavi….

Forza

Celtic v Hearts FT 3-0

At the end of the day 3pts, 3 goals, clean sheet, a decent performance, and a run out for 3 of our new bhoys.

We got the early goal we wanted 5min after the restart (Skippy free header from Naka's corner) and that effectively ended the game as a contest.

Andy opened his Celtic account with a cracking shot from a wee reverse pass from Aiden inside the box (75min).

Sammy (for Jan), Robson (for Donati), and Hutch (for Skippy) all got a run out in the last 15min or so. Sammy in particular oozes class, and could have scored twice - one cracker from 25 yards nearly broke the post in half.

Good displays all over the park, good to see our strikers striking , Aiden MOTM again.

A few talking points from the game:
- Artur lashes out at Mick with handbag - not good to see - crowd remind Artur to cut that right out.
- Driver left Andy standing for pace twice - is it just a fitness problem or is he slow?
- Frail for a six match ban after man handling Skoosh off the field of play!


All of which sets us up well for Wednesday - be interesting to see how we line-up: Skoosh suspended and still a question mark about who's going to step in at RB (Andy can't play).

More of that later - we'll savour the moment.

Celtic v Hearts HT 1-0

Celtic started in imperious form and were well worth the goal that big Jan stabbed away after good work by Aiden after 13mins.

We were buzzing THEN after 20min, Hearts started to become more into it and very dangerous on the break. Mick turned one over on his own goal-line then Vilicka hit the side net when he could have scored.

Game not over by a long shot. Donati still careless in possession. Nails and Andy need to push up a bit more in support of Aiden and Naka. Skippy and Jan working hard...

We need to find the poise and pace of the first 20 minutes.
A quick second would be most welcome.

Oh, and some things never change:
Kana-vicious stamped on Skoosh 5 yards in front of the linesman, who just turned away...

Celtic v Hearts Preamble

Back to Paradise tomorrow with a spring in our step, when the dreaded Marroon Meanies come calling.

We've managed to drop 2 from 6 against them this season, and they have also papped us out of the cissy cup.

So the signs are flashing "Danger"... especially when a certain Velicka has proved he can damage us at home.

Every game is a must win for us at the moment - full points is vital to keep the pressure on Real Govan. They will be on a definite high with the news that McCurry will once again be ready to play a decisive finger-licking role for them against KFC on Sunday.

A decent Tic performance would be a bonus. But if the Bhoys come thru unscathed with the 3pts that will be enough for me.

Don't care much about clean sheets myself, but an improved defensive display would be welcome before Barca come calling. Even Artur looked a bit dodgy last week.

Some might say the Hearts game is more important than Barca.
We need to win the league --why?-- to get into the CL.
We play Barca in the CL so surely it's more important than Hearts?

At the end of the day, every game is important, each game has its own context.

One thing I do know is that we won't be playing 4-1-4-1 tomorrow or Wednesday.

We are better than that - we are the Celtic!!!

Starting lineup could look like this:

-----------Artur
Andy--Mick--Caldwell--Naylor
Naka--Brown--Robson--Aiden
----Skippy---------Jan

Expect to see Sammy getting a run out - maybe Caddis as well.
Might get a touch of Sno or Hartley depending on how it's going.

Dr Jo? I Presume......

"What Do You Mean This Is Ma Team, Jock....."

As ma “weeningoffromuselessfitbamessageboards” continues after I proved that, I could or, mair like, proving that in a enforced absence I don’t need to find oot what Hector Smectum fae Naewhereville is spouting crap aboot…. I have found other uses for this thing called the Timternet….

Like watching fitba’ for he haw, legally of course. Well, I did watch West Ham v Birmingham on some dodgy Chinese channel- it left me very unfulfilled, crap game, poor tactics, poor players..like watching an overpaid SPL- but I found that some betting sites have live streaming of games, which must be legal…

My Fridays are now complete, running home early from work to watch FC St. Pauli play in the Bundesliga 2 then maybe catching some obscure Portuguese League game rounded off by watching a Serie B game….

No much bother there you may think- MrsG might say differently- these wee teams must get paid from these sites to stream games? I’m not stealing revenue from them, I’m contributing…so what aboot the big boys?

A wee Google search shows that you can basically see EVERY EPL game at 3pm on a Saturday. This week was the first week that r*ngers had pulled their hame game from the overseas streams. I asked maeself if Celtic would do the same?

Of course they are after the courts have got involved in banning pubs round aboot Celtic Park and Glesga toon center from showing the games on Polstat. Round the grounds I can understand- though why guys pay their bus / plane / train fare then sit in the boozer and don’t go in is beyond me- but stopping overseas Hoops seeing the game streamed onto their laptops in their living rooms is taking it bit far.

Right, I know the Hoops want you to subscribe to Channel 67, which isnae available to everyone and feedback proves it is shoddy, and I think everyone who WANTS to subscribe does. For me the stopping of this overseas screening- lot of the channels who screen the games are Asian or Japanese- will damage the Celtic “Brand”- fecking hate that word- in the long run.

I mean imaging a club stopping their games being screened in the countries where we have signed their biggest stars to sell shirts….

And imaging us depriving the world of seeing Aiden McGeady twinkle toe his way to superstardom. Banning these screenings will only make his defection to the EPL mair hyped on these streams…

That is the maist worrying thing aboot Aiden. His “Zidane” turn and play this year- and also the press bigging him up is a worrying turn- means that the stories of those EPL vultures coming in wie “Huttonesq” money are just round the corner…

But that’s a worry for another day. For now, as the Hoops are finding form, for me, the comparisons wie dark days in oor recent past are all too relevant.

Firstly I mentioned the impact Georgios Of The Jungleios has had on the support. I compared it to Craig Bellamy’s arrival. We were struggling before the January windae, also, that season, Bellars arrival gave us a much needed boost but….as we all know it was only a temporary boost, the teams failings still shone through before the season was oot.

Then the fitba’ that we are playing and the make up of the team are reminding me of Dr Jo’s class of 1998/99. A team that plunged the lows, scaled the heights but failed when the chips were doon.

At the back, we were similar. Right, Johnnie Gould or Stewart Kerr widnae lace the Holy Goalies boots or should that be Velcro his gloves. Mick and Caldwell are as fallible as Stubbs and Reiper. Full backs, Lee Naylor ,Stephane Mahe and Tosh could have been separated at birth- all were / are prone to erratic displays- and Hinkel, Boyd and Jackie are/were international, ahem, class…

Midfield, if Aiden continues he will reach the heights reached by Rigi Blinker, if Paul Lambert could grow a world class beard then Paul Hartley would be looking in the mirror, Scott Broon is Craig Burley wieoot the goals- and the terrible hair- and Simon Donnelly was the original Nakamura.

The cover for the midfield as well, The David Hannah tapes is surely used in all Dutch Academies…..

Up front, Viduka and Henke. One a lazy sod wie talent and the other a pest, a goalscorer and a worker. Jvoh and Skippy anyone? Also add in Burchill- Derek Riordon- Brattbakk- Chris Killen- and the original longhaired lover from, eh, Leith Darren Jackson was the original Georgios….

Dr Jo’s sides are ridiculed looking back. Failing to beat Kilmarnock three times, losing to St Johnstone twice, drawing wie Dundee, losing 4 goals to Fc Zurich and failing to score at home against St Pats quite rightly makes praise of this period seem hard. But….

From mid December to the game we lost the league, we went 19 games unbeaten in all competitions. During that spell we scored 57 goals. This included five goal maulings of Dunfermline, St Johnstone, Aberdeen- a 5-1 victory at The Rhodders- and Dundee. We scored 4 against Hearts and Dunfermline, three against Dundee and Morton plus got a 2-2 draw at ipox.

In this spell we beat Motherwell 7-1 at Fir Park. A game that Sundays game reminded me off. Everything went right that night. Makes me remember how guid those 6.05pm kick offs were…

All in that season we scored 5 goals or more on 8 occasions, one occasion was a wee player called Lubo’s debut. In that spell we played some cracking stuff.

It all came crashing doon- like a galot from the North Stand- when der hun won 3-0 at CP. A lifeless cup final defeat followed and the ridicule has been written in history.

A run like that usually wins you leagues. Usually breeds confidence but deep doon that Hoops team knew they were missing something. A 5-1 victory then a 2-2 draw against yer rivals should give you the boost you need to overcome them but the pressure was all too much.

How will GS team 3 handle a three game decider against der hun? We are 3-0 down and huvnae laid a glove on them. We don’t look on or off the park to have the measure of them.

Dr Jo’s Celtic took results from them. We are sitting here wanting oor team now to go on a kind of free-scoring, entertaining winning streak that his team produced but when the gongs are handed oot we have had the backbone to see it through.

Then we can lay the ghost of Jo and the curse of the big loan signing to rest.

Forza

Aberdeen v Celtic FT 1-5

Celtic finally playing the way we want - 10 goals in 2 games, 2 away games at that.

Some Aiden magic setup Skippy for 4-0 (and the wee man's 23rd of the season).

After that Langfield was performing miracles to keep the wave after wave of Celtic attacks at bay.

Credit to Aberdeen they never gave up and managed to scramble a goal after a stramash in front of Artur.

Then, incredibly, Aiden was booked for an inoculous foul - what is wrong with the MIB in Scotland?

Barry Robson lived the fairy tale: just on for Naka, he scored with his first touch as a Celtic player - beautifully struck free kick with the left peg (75min).

Sammy (on for Skippy) and Killen (on for Jan) both got a run out. Interesting to see that we didn't want to keep it tight and sit on the result.

MOTM: Aiden. You just want to see him on the ball all the time!

Celtic seem to be coming good at the right time - we have class and options all over the park.
Alarm bells will be ringing out in Scotland (and maybe a wee bit further afield as well ?).

Tuxedoes are the favoured gear for the Celts - we'll leave Emperor Murray with his own choice of new clothes.

Aberdeen v Celtic HT 0-3

Well the Bhoys have decided to wear their Sunday best!

Midfield and attack have clicked and are unstoppable, with arguably their best 45mins of the season.

Is it any coincidence that Donati isn't involved?

Goals from Naka, Aiden, and a penalty (stonewaller) from Skippy.
Aiden's goal in particular could be a candidate for goal of the season.Cracking left foot strike from a couple of yards outside the box.

Defense, however, looking a bit dodgy and Aberdeen have had 3 more-than half-decent chances. Andy, in particular, looking off the pace and obviously needs games.

This 3-goal cushion will allow us the luxury of bringing on Robson and Sammy.

Very satisfying - hopefully we will look to add a couple more to keep the goal average looking healthy.

Aberdeen v Celtic Preamble

Big Jock used to say that you put your working togs on for the everyday tasks and keep your tuxedo for the big events.

Well today's game falls into that first category, where sleeves will be rolled up and a fair amount of sweat and snotters will be needed to come away with the spoils at, what always is, a difficult away venue.

That will be the focus for today: 3 points.

Is there extra pressure about the current gap at the top of the SPL?
Well, in the CL qualifiers, we had no points on the board after the first 3 matches. But Celtic were professional enough not to let the focus wander, storming into second place when a lot of people had us buried.

So this team knows about pressure: when the heat is on, we provide the necessary volume to our game.

Hopefully the old gear will go in the washing machine tonight after a good job done: we'll look out the good suit for the trip to Catalonia in 10 days time.

“He’s Greek, He’s Great, and He’ll smash yer dinner plates, Samaras, Samaras”

Fyffes launch the "Banana Vapor Mk 5" as worn by Billy Connelly....."He says Jobbie, you know!"

Juvenile song but funny all the same. This ditty accompanied the explosion on the scene of a 6ft 4in Greek Ghod- in waiting- wie looks to kill, pace to burn and boots to laugh at. When Georgios of the Jungleios was warming up - at the deserted Helms Deep- ma first thought was WHAT THE HELL was on his feet.

Turns oot to be the new “Mercurial Vapor 4” boot, wie the tag line “Fastest tae the Ba’”: “Fastest wie the Ba’”, if the overpaid Nikee executive came from Easterhoose. Suppose they need to as the tag line “Fastest tae the ba’, but they look pure rank man” widnae sell many of the orange ones.

They don’t look like boots and don’t sound like boots. The “Mercurial Vapor 4” sounds like a ship from “The Empire Strikes Back” and should be piloted by Chewbacca and CP3O. Remember the days when the boots had simple names like “Match” and “King” now they sound like extras from Stargate Deep Space Blakes Seven.

You have to be a bit gallus to wear those boots. Or think you were gallus anyway. The days of only the showmen, the entertainers, the STARMEN being the only ones to wear coloured boots- started by Alan Ball and ended wie aplomb by the gold booted Paolo Di Canio- are long gone. A look at the game at Easter Road last week saw such “greats” as Lee McCooluck and Sash Papic were abusing white boots.

When Sammy made a cameo appearance for the tiring Skippy I don’t think even he could have expected the reaction his gazelle like, drift in from the wide area, ghost past the Killie defender then left fitted side foot into the bottom corner would have had on the support. It made Sammy, the biggest thing to hit CP since the last £6m pound loan player we got to Glesga.

Even then, Bellars debut was a damp squib. Seem to remember him missing a few chances- one, a one on one: how THAT failing in his game would come back to haunt us- against the Huns. It was only the one-man white booted Hat-trick at Tannadeechie that convinced us of Bellars worth but before that the picture of him beaming from CP’s front door and the chorus of “Graeme Souness yer a w*nker” echoing round the dark East End.

It was said to me last week that there is nuthin better than signing a striker. It gives you a boost. He was right. No matter the misgivings you have aboot the player you are signing: Centre Forwards are glamorous goal getters and heroes in waiting. I’m sure I can remember getting excited aboot signing Andy Paton and Wayne Biggins.

Ok, defenders are a necessary evil in the game and occasionally yer team will sign one that resembles a defender but THEY never give you the same buzz as signing a Gorgeous Goergios, a Jorge Cadette, a Pierre, a Magic, a Hesslelink, a Sutton, a Hartson or a Tony Cascarino...

Defenders take longer to impress. You don’t remember clean sheets, last ditch tackles and- Ceaser apart- all defenders are built like Shrek and only became defenders due to them not being guid enough or good looking enough to be the cheeky chappies upfront scoring the goals and getting the burds. Also, when you are younger you want to be a striker.

You always look forward to a new strikers first game. The reason? Fir me it’s easier for strikers to make an impact. Most strikers, for what ma hazy mind can remember, either score on their debut or do enough to suggest that they will do a joab. Well, a guy called Henrick apart; I mean he faded from grace after a disastrous debut.

It is due to that we- or me- can remember fondly Andy Walker scoring on his debut at Greenock. I can remember Wayne Biggins skelping the bar on his. Frank Macca scoring on his return to the Hoops via Partick Thistle when snatched him from the jaws of St Mirren.

Who can forget Jorge Cadete first goal against the Sheepies at CP. That Ham’den night when Pierre hit his first of many- in Adidas Predators, nae fancy dan colours for him, against Hearts and the soon to be golden booted, talented but misguided Di Canio reducing a stand to rubble at Helms Deep just like Sammy.

On we go and you have Marko Viduka’s first goal at CP- quiz time was it for Zagreb or Celtic? - and Ian Wright’s diving heider then dive bomb- much like his Celtic career after that moment- celebration after, again, a goal against Killie.

Big Sutty got of to a flier wie a terrorising type performance and a winning goal at Tannadeechie but Big Bad John Hartson struggled to begin wie. Can’t remember facts like how many games he went wieoot a goal- I really need to update ma DVD collection- BUT I DO REMEMBER the duck being broken wie a hat trick against Dundee Utd.

It’s a shame to see the “Big Man” ending his career so disillusioned wie the game. It’s maybe made him rich but over the last season and a bit his comments allude to a very sorry figure. The burger quote was ill advised and let his snipers have cheap jibes aboot burgers, laziness, booze and thugishness.

Yes, the big fellow wisnae the maist athletic of Welsh rump but he used his size, power and attributes well. He wis also a natural goalscorer and a wanted player, as his multi million pound transfers prove.

He scored over 100 goals for the Hoops, he became the main Hunskelper and I will remember his numerous goals against them. He loved scoring against them- well; he did have previous wie the workings of the devil- and knew how important it was to us. He also embraced us- like Sutton and Thommo- he knew that we were the biggest and best club he had ever played for. He also like a song and a pint doon the Gallowgate…

John, yer a legend..

Back to debuts and I will jump to BBJ’s replacement. How guid was Vennegor of Hesslelink that day against Hibs. I distinctly remember FaitherG saying to me that day “He’s a player”. I wonder if that player is back…

That day as well, the other goal scorer was Magic Zurawski. Magic was in his second season by that point after a cracking first season. His debut was against Fulham where he missed a late penalty after coming on as a sub and the curse of the Bratislava Away top started.

Magic did break his duck in the Bratislava away top at East End Park, when two goals reminded us of another enigma Pole dancer. The boy was / is a player. His first season proved that. Injury and cannybearsedness after the World Cup made sure that he will be remembered- fondly- as a wan season wonder.

Guid luck Magic. Again, yer goal on ma last ever* visit to ipox will be fondly remembered.

So will Sammy wie the orange bits turn oot to be a success or is it all doon hill from here?

Wie Skippy due a spell in the Bar-L for having the gall to score over twenty goals for us- one mair booking sees a three match ban- and also wie his half the world away trip wie the wizards of Oz this week could we see the “orange ones” floating past Zander Diamond on Sunday and them being a regular feature in the coming weeks?

I for wan hope to see Sammy but…. lose the boots eh?

Forza

*Only unless I really need to go back there for winning the league or something as important..

Post Windae, Pre Killie- I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain Has Gone...

Cain Dingle, finds a new home after a suspicious theft at Man Citees FA Cup game..

Due to the wonders of technology I have been off line for the best part of a week. An electrical surge, after the “storms” bombed oot ma telephone exchange thus making me landline less and mair importantly broadband less.

While ma “Vennegor Broadband” was working intermitally, the phone line was crackling like Rose from the Neil Diamond song, thus causing any phone call to sound like it they were coming from Mars and ma internet to go doon quicker than Stan Petrov when challenged in the box.

Also, the I.T meanies at ma work have blocked access to certain sites. This means that I can read CQN but not the comments, Kerrydale Street is fine- their rumour thread has been a godsend- , Green Brigade, nae chance and they must have quality control as LOTW canny be accessed.

Due to this paper medija, phone in’s, teletext, Sky Sports News, Setanta Sports News have been getting well pulped in the “thirst for knowledge”. The phone ins are really poor, the lackies act on tip offs from agents trying to get the best deal by starting auctions- see Kyle Lafferty and Georgios Samaras- and 80% of the time are made to look stupid.

Suppose, we should feel pity for them....BUT sod it...it’s great entertainment listening to them getting it wrong and then making excuses and dressing up bad news or bad signings as guid news or guid signings.

New Labour spin is alive and well on the airwaves and it reached new height or lows when I heard Christian Dailly being talked up due to the fact hew as a year younger than the player he replaced. Mr Dailly is 34....or the superb comedy image I had in ma heid when I heard Walter and Bain were flying to Italy, in “THE PRIVATE JET”, for a “£7m Striker Sensation Swoop”

Why couldnae i get the image of them dressed like Batman and Robin –you decided which one is which- flying aboard the “The Batwing” having dialogue like..

“Holy smolie Batman, we have only 6 hours to go before the world ends as we know it, we must spend this money before that nasty HBOS get their hands on it and it used not for the greater guid....”

“Robin, nae worries...we will spend and retain the world wide peace and dignity that has been unsurpassed for 135 years.... DIGNITY shall prevail over Taigism”

It all ends in tears wie Batman being eaten by a rubber shark and Robin getting hooked on prescription drugs and cheap hookers....

Never really contemplated how much time the Internet takes up in ma leisure and social activities, wieoot it I had a void. Ma leisure activities were curtailed, being unable to download, legally of course, new “tunes” by The Eels, Super Furry Animals and The Courteeners had me contemplating going into a record shop for the first time in months and not being able to “talk” to friends- or lhads and lhassies I mostly huvnae met- on line was strange for such a long period.

Maybe, it’s quite sad that I regard that surfing the net, posting on this blog, leaving comments on messageboards and other blogs is an aspect of ma social life and I really should get oot mair. I worry aboot the art of social interaction for the younger generation who spend mair time on the net than me.

I thought ma marriage was healthy. But having to converse wie MrsG instead of having ma heid in a laptop while she is watching Eastenders- how bad is that program?- has made me fear getting Anti-freeze in ma next Chicken Tikka.

It all started wie Kilmarnock in the Scottish Cup. Now, when we booked up for Barcelona I did agree, in a moment of weakness or drunkenness, that I wid only go to away games if they weren’t on the telly or if we were going to win the league. I even gave away ma ticket for Motherwell as even though it wisnny part of the “agreement”- that was made after the game was due to be played- oot of goodwill.

So when I wandered through from the kitchen the other night after hearing “The Marnocks” had went 2-0, I muttered that I would be travelling like a Timmy Frodo tae Helms Deep tae support the Hoops quest for the domestic double. Bejesus you wid have thought I had said “I’m leaving you for your sister / mother / granny / best pal”, it was like a sketch from Jeremy Kyle....

It was pointed oot to me that between now and the end of May that we would spend and this is aprrox at the mo, £800 quid for Barca- 3 Days on the Costa all-inclusive, travel to Barca for the game, match tickets- likely from Gringo Touts- and a day in Stockholm on the way home- then by the end of May there’s £900 quid for oor season books for next year.

It was then pointed oot that Barca at home was costing us £77 for both oor tickets and that we have a lot of remaining hame games where the spend is unknown. That is dependent on results and the cost of the beverage before and afterwards.

So all in, a conservative estimate is £2500 and I canny fiddle ma expenses to say a family member is ma researcher.

Is it any wonder that I huvnae bothered to count how much I spend going to watch the Hoops? Seeing that figure in black and white, had me googling the “Live Footy Doctor” and looking up Japanese Internet TV wondering if their is a Nakamura TV or Koykey Meezuno channel. I also started thinking that maybe giving up ma season book is an option mainly because you can get tickets for any hame games you want.

Having a think aboot it, it’s now easy to see why they’re vast empty spaces weekly at CP and the away attendances are dwindling. Even if you buy your SB, the cost of attending the games sometimes means that you will pick and choose the games you attend but we have discussed that before and I’m not going doon we want to be entertained route again. What I don’t like is the people who turn up and moan then leave 20 mins before time no matter who we are playing.

My take is if I’m spending a fair amount of ma disposable income, then I’m going to bloody enjoy watching the games. I’m going to support the players, no matter ma opinions on their ability or lack of ability and I’m going to saviour the victories no matter how they were achieved. YES, I want to see the beautiful game, yes I want to see the “Celtic Way” but adding honours and seeing players giving effort worthy of those famous Hoops then we have to be happy.

That is the reason why, I was logged into Kerrydale Street and the BBC constantly at ma work during the final hours of the transfer windae. Activity, by improving the squad is a sign that the club is going places, which is a feeling that we have been missing. I have no bugbear wie the current playing squad, I think they give their all, it’s the lack of care that seems prevalent in the forward planning both on and park that annoys.

Right, I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. I have no inside information. I did write that I didnae want to wake up on the 1st Feb wie the feeling that we have signed short-term stopgaps that dinny improve the squad

In came 5 and oot went 1. Canny remember a busier mid season transfer windae. We didnae really sign short term stop gaps- though the I have the feeling the £1.25m we gave to Dundee Utd is just to win the league- only one player signed is older than 25, only one player is on loan and the others are on longish deals and reduce the age of the squad. Improved the quality...well.....????

Whether we have strengthened the areas we needed strengthened is debateable. I felt that a CB and LB were must haves we got nether. We bolstered areas that were all ready bursting wie options but are not performing the way they should.

It’s a wait and see if the new bhoys make a contribution and if the club have matched ma high purposed % disposable ootlay wie the same ambition and outcomes I want for jeopardising ma mortgage payments and marriage. .

Wie only one leaving only the much touted Barry Robson- The Ginja Naka- can be seen as a direct replacement. Robson is having an Indian summer of his journeyman career. The comparisons to Hartley are undeniable.

Unlike Hartley though, we have signed him during his “peak” spell. The worry is, his form is a flash in the pan. Hope that he continues “the form of his life” and adds goals from a non-goal scoring midfield. That’s if he plays in the midfield and in his correct position. See Paul Hartley for what happens when this disnny happen.

Upfront, we have added Georgios of the Jungleios and Benny Bhoy Hutchie. Georgios, apart from looking like Cain Dingle, was a target before we signed JVOH who is the man whose jersey he could be pinching.

A £6m tag for the former top scorer in the Dutch League- quite a feat consider the bordellos in The ‘Dam- scared us off and we ended up wie JVOH. Unsure if he is what we need, unsure if he will be a success and unsure if he will fancy the Scottish game, lax MIB’s and thug like defending......

Ben Hutchison is an unknown. But in his favour surely he canny be any worse than Chris Killen. Oh, he also qualifies to play for Jamaica, which will keep those “jazz fag” smokers, who frequent the bogs at half time, happy in the knowledge that we have oor ain “Reggie Bhoy”.

Koykey Meezuno is another unknown. You Tube makes him seem like a player, but i reckon put a few clips of me strutting ma stuff at the fives on You Tube and you will think I’m a player. Those who know me, know different.....

But welcome to them all. They all have ma backing now they will wear the hoops. Also a guid luck to Jiri who I’m sure will have a “comfortable” lifestyle in Russia and will love those ladies who will pay him lots of attention- phone Gary O’Connor for tips, Jiri.

I’m glad the windae is over. It’s time to get back to the fitba’ and pesh wie the tackle you have. I’m away to ask MrsG if she wid gie up her season book...wish me luck....

Forza

Post Fawkirk, Thru The Windae I See Muddy Waters...

"Watch yer broon brogues, Chic...."

There are many things you can fret aboot, when yer team is aboot to embark on a make or break series of games, which could end your hopes, or Hoops, in the three remaining trophies we are competing for.

Whether yer team will be able to handle the games after a number of competent and not spectacular performances, is usually the main one closely followed by the worry that the opposition teams you are facing will raise their games against you or are in a run of “right guid” form, which could leave yer dreams in tatters.

Wie this in mind last Tuesday, on the way back from fives, where I was Pele, I decided not to turn the tranny to the game from the lane but tune into Radio Tuecther for the dulcet tones of Davie Begg and Craig- say what you see- Paterson booming from Fir Park. Glad that “The Well” sounded “normal” in a second half, which the Jam Farts dominated, wieoot creating chances, and that they are not as Superhuman as they have been made oot to be.

But as ever wie these best laid plans, it was the game from “The Rhodders” that brought the guid news. Every Sheepie goal was greeted wie a raised eyebrow and a feeling that oor trip to Westfield widnae be as difficult as first feared. After all we had played “competent” fitba’ against Killie while The Bairns were being skelped oaf Gretna at Fir Park. Two defeats, I mused, two hefty defeats the only worry is a backlash and “The Jeykell” Celtic team turning up.

What I got was the kind of performance, one below even Jekyel standard, that the beasts that feast on the succulent lamb of Sir Winalot Minty will be slavering over like a rabid dug. It had everything I didnae want. It was sloppy, Fawkirk had THREE decent penalty shouts turned doon- by a terrible referee- we scored an offside goal and questions have to be asked aboot the mentality and ability of team 3.

Even though we always struggle at Westfield- where fawkirk always adopt the extra man in the midfield tactic, and as ever the tigerish Irishman, Patrick Cregg resembled another tigerish Irish midfielder that donned the Hoops for a pension-able farewell tour, gave an exemplary performance, were you watching Scott Broon? and giving oor Gordon’s annoying habit for signing midfielders from the SPL makes you wonder why this Irishman has never darkened oor door?

As he is exactly the type of player we need.

While watching the “game”- match would be stretching it, slog feast in a boag wid maybe cover it- a nee’bor said after 85 minutes it was squeaky bum time, I replied it had been like that since the 46th minute. It was an x-rated performance, a watch wie mother and a behind the couch 90 minutes for us Setanta watchers while I’m sure it was torture to listen to the expectant Radio commentators who could smell champions blood.

Bottomline is it’s not going to get any easier. Fir Park is in a worse nick than Westfield and “The Rhodders” is tatty field level. Even the newly laid Ipox looks like it could cut up wie its forty shades of green pieces of cheap turf. Nice fitba’ is oot the windae and even if this team seemed capable of a decent fitba’ performance the parks make it null and void.

If you ever want an advert for a winter break a wee trip roond the 1st World War trenches that are masquerading fitba’ pitches should be enough to convince the suits. Forget the cash the sma’ clubs would lose, which is the ONLY reason the break was scrapped if we want the SPL to be seen as a decent league then stop playing on these pitches.

I understand that decent bowling green type pitches are NOT a guarantee for a fast flowing, Brazil 70 type games, especially if the players on the park are having mares or are just shit, and that in this climate changing world we can still get snaw in March or April, but can we all not see the point of giving the pitches a rest, the players a rest and at least giving the fans a half decent chance of seeing a decent game?

I’m sure we would all rather go oot to a game on a nice spring evening wie a decent chance of seeing a guid game rather than freezing their baws of in the middle of January, wrapped up like an Scott of the Antarctic, too watch Lee Naylor do a poor impression of a fitba’ player? Mind you, even on a nice spring night Nayls…

For those who think I’m blaming the pitches for oor “Throwingawaytheleague” form- 5 wins and 5 clean sheets, right enough-, you couldnae be further from the truth. I’m now beginning to blame the players…

Oor Gordon bemoaned the lack of the expansive game his “vision” envisaged. He blamed the conditions and the park and said we might need to change personnel to be able to handle the conditions. Looking at the squad, apart from returning Jarosik to the starting 11 getting Hinkel fit, there was no one to improve the 1st 11 that struggled at Westfield.

He has signed lightweight ba’ players who can’t adapt their game. We just have to hope oor game comes on top and we can play for at least decent spells in games. And we should be able too. Sunday saw us, Hartley apart, play what I call oor strongest 11. A side that should beat anyone in the SPL. A side that, we need to hope comes guid. Or those, rumoured, reinforcements arrive that improve the first 11 and not just the squad.

We require players that will come in and improve oor strongest 11, which is a difficult task in January. We started off well, wie the signing of Andy Hinkel, a German internationalist from a Champions League club to fill a problematic position. We then bolstered oor Japanese interest by signing Koykey Meezino, a pacy winger but questions remain how much a part he will play and how he will adapt.

The only other confirmed signing is Ben Hutchison from Boro, either, he wisnny going to make it or is the next, ahem, Emile Heskey….

When the windae shuts on Thursday night, where again I will be glued to the tranny listening to “Through the Windae” on Radio Tuecther, gleefully hoping that apart from one of the medjia’s phone going off and revelling The Sash as his ringtone, they announce a “blue chip” signing we all crave.

Instead, I reckon we will get quick fixes and really no long-term gains that give the impression that the club is just wandering blindly to nowhereville, which is second stop after Clarksville and just before Losingtheleagueandcupville.

I really want to be awake at 11:59pm on Thursday night, excited at the thought we have signed a CB, LB and Striker of Hinkelesq stature, quality- unproved yet, but players wie a similar CV would be magic- and that we huvnae just raided the Fizzy Pop league or the SPL then play the lack of money caird …as that will just give me nightmares.

But before that I want to be laying awake wie another three points under ma pillow.

We go to Fir Park, to play a team that is better than Fawkirk. They play at a higher tempo than Fawkirk and like us are as fit as an Eastern European mail order bride, so we won’t grind them down like we do many a team after shitie performances. We also play a team that has proved are fallible- defeat to St Mirren then a poor second half against the Jam Farts- and I’m safe in the knowledge that we canny be as bad again. Or can we….

Forza

Kilmarnock v Celtic FT 1-5

Better performance in the second half, and the signs are we are getting back on track, with 4 more goals to savour:

• Cauldwell powered header for number two (52min) after flick on by Donati from Naka's corner.
  
• Jan skelped number 3 (58min) afte Aiden won the ball in his own half and lays it into his path, which finished the game as a contest.
  
• Kilmarnock got consolation (66min) but immediately Celtic got another from Skippy.
  
• Sammy came on for Skippy for the last 20min
  and scored a cracking individual goal against a tiring Killie defense.

MOTM: Young Caddis for his overall play: gave a better balance to the team.

Time for Donati to up his game tho' or he could be spending a lot of time on the bench in coming weeks.

Celtic picked up 4 bookings (to Killie's 2) which shows they were determined to put themselves about a bit more (and also that our old "fiend" Brines was doing his bit).

Welcome to Celtic, Sammy but what's with the Orange boots ?!?

Kilmarnock v Celtic HT 0-1

Very windy conditions, making it hard for our usual silky fitba...

Goal after 20mins separates the teams. Some nice play from Naka and cross from Caddis for Skippy to hit in from close range.
That was really the first chance of the game.

In fact Celtic have dominated without making many chances (Jan hit the post during a mega-stramash in the area).
However, Killie have come into it more in the last 15mins, and could have eaqualized.

So game not over yet.

Young Caddis doing very well on his first team debut.
Brown better. But stilling looking for more from Donati ... and Aiden and Naka as well TBH.
Playing better as a team than in recent weeks, but we still want to see goals.

Kilmarnock v Celtic (Scottish Cup) Preamble

Cup duty on a freezing cauld February Staurday midday at Rugby Park.
Bound to be a lot of sweat , blood and snotters.

Wonder what our new Greek bhoy Georgios Samaras (aka Sammy) will make of it all?

Maybe we should tell him about sunny days in May at Hampden when we can finally get to play beautiful game as it was meant to be played.

Don't show him the video of last year's final tho', where we should have been drinking Perrier instead of Champers after lifting the trophy.

Still, as the old cliché goes, it all about winning.
Something we should do today, despite finding KFC a tricky bunch to handle in recent times.

The SPL pressure is off for a while, so hopefully despite the conditions, we will see a decent performance and a few goals from the Bhoys.

Possible starting lineup:

-----------Artur

Caddis--Mick--Caldwell--Naylor
Hartley--Brown--Donati--Aiden
----Skippy---------Jan

With Naka and Sammy coming on at some point.

Might get a touch of Sno at some point as well.
:o)