Post Windae, Pre Killie- I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain Has Gone...

Cain Dingle, finds a new home after a suspicious theft at Man Citees FA Cup game..

Due to the wonders of technology I have been off line for the best part of a week. An electrical surge, after the “storms” bombed oot ma telephone exchange thus making me landline less and mair importantly broadband less.

While ma “Vennegor Broadband” was working intermitally, the phone line was crackling like Rose from the Neil Diamond song, thus causing any phone call to sound like it they were coming from Mars and ma internet to go doon quicker than Stan Petrov when challenged in the box.

Also, the I.T meanies at ma work have blocked access to certain sites. This means that I can read CQN but not the comments, Kerrydale Street is fine- their rumour thread has been a godsend- , Green Brigade, nae chance and they must have quality control as LOTW canny be accessed.

Due to this paper medija, phone in’s, teletext, Sky Sports News, Setanta Sports News have been getting well pulped in the “thirst for knowledge”. The phone ins are really poor, the lackies act on tip offs from agents trying to get the best deal by starting auctions- see Kyle Lafferty and Georgios Samaras- and 80% of the time are made to look stupid.

Suppose, we should feel pity for them....BUT sod it...it’s great entertainment listening to them getting it wrong and then making excuses and dressing up bad news or bad signings as guid news or guid signings.

New Labour spin is alive and well on the airwaves and it reached new height or lows when I heard Christian Dailly being talked up due to the fact hew as a year younger than the player he replaced. Mr Dailly is 34....or the superb comedy image I had in ma heid when I heard Walter and Bain were flying to Italy, in “THE PRIVATE JET”, for a “£7m Striker Sensation Swoop”

Why couldnae i get the image of them dressed like Batman and Robin –you decided which one is which- flying aboard the “The Batwing” having dialogue like..

“Holy smolie Batman, we have only 6 hours to go before the world ends as we know it, we must spend this money before that nasty HBOS get their hands on it and it used not for the greater guid....”

“Robin, nae worries...we will spend and retain the world wide peace and dignity that has been unsurpassed for 135 years.... DIGNITY shall prevail over Taigism”

It all ends in tears wie Batman being eaten by a rubber shark and Robin getting hooked on prescription drugs and cheap hookers....

Never really contemplated how much time the Internet takes up in ma leisure and social activities, wieoot it I had a void. Ma leisure activities were curtailed, being unable to download, legally of course, new “tunes” by The Eels, Super Furry Animals and The Courteeners had me contemplating going into a record shop for the first time in months and not being able to “talk” to friends- or lhads and lhassies I mostly huvnae met- on line was strange for such a long period.

Maybe, it’s quite sad that I regard that surfing the net, posting on this blog, leaving comments on messageboards and other blogs is an aspect of ma social life and I really should get oot mair. I worry aboot the art of social interaction for the younger generation who spend mair time on the net than me.

I thought ma marriage was healthy. But having to converse wie MrsG instead of having ma heid in a laptop while she is watching Eastenders- how bad is that program?- has made me fear getting Anti-freeze in ma next Chicken Tikka.

It all started wie Kilmarnock in the Scottish Cup. Now, when we booked up for Barcelona I did agree, in a moment of weakness or drunkenness, that I wid only go to away games if they weren’t on the telly or if we were going to win the league. I even gave away ma ticket for Motherwell as even though it wisnny part of the “agreement”- that was made after the game was due to be played- oot of goodwill.

So when I wandered through from the kitchen the other night after hearing “The Marnocks” had went 2-0, I muttered that I would be travelling like a Timmy Frodo tae Helms Deep tae support the Hoops quest for the domestic double. Bejesus you wid have thought I had said “I’m leaving you for your sister / mother / granny / best pal”, it was like a sketch from Jeremy Kyle....

It was pointed oot to me that between now and the end of May that we would spend and this is aprrox at the mo, £800 quid for Barca- 3 Days on the Costa all-inclusive, travel to Barca for the game, match tickets- likely from Gringo Touts- and a day in Stockholm on the way home- then by the end of May there’s £900 quid for oor season books for next year.

It was then pointed oot that Barca at home was costing us £77 for both oor tickets and that we have a lot of remaining hame games where the spend is unknown. That is dependent on results and the cost of the beverage before and afterwards.

So all in, a conservative estimate is £2500 and I canny fiddle ma expenses to say a family member is ma researcher.

Is it any wonder that I huvnae bothered to count how much I spend going to watch the Hoops? Seeing that figure in black and white, had me googling the “Live Footy Doctor” and looking up Japanese Internet TV wondering if their is a Nakamura TV or Koykey Meezuno channel. I also started thinking that maybe giving up ma season book is an option mainly because you can get tickets for any hame games you want.

Having a think aboot it, it’s now easy to see why they’re vast empty spaces weekly at CP and the away attendances are dwindling. Even if you buy your SB, the cost of attending the games sometimes means that you will pick and choose the games you attend but we have discussed that before and I’m not going doon we want to be entertained route again. What I don’t like is the people who turn up and moan then leave 20 mins before time no matter who we are playing.

My take is if I’m spending a fair amount of ma disposable income, then I’m going to bloody enjoy watching the games. I’m going to support the players, no matter ma opinions on their ability or lack of ability and I’m going to saviour the victories no matter how they were achieved. YES, I want to see the beautiful game, yes I want to see the “Celtic Way” but adding honours and seeing players giving effort worthy of those famous Hoops then we have to be happy.

That is the reason why, I was logged into Kerrydale Street and the BBC constantly at ma work during the final hours of the transfer windae. Activity, by improving the squad is a sign that the club is going places, which is a feeling that we have been missing. I have no bugbear wie the current playing squad, I think they give their all, it’s the lack of care that seems prevalent in the forward planning both on and park that annoys.

Right, I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. I have no inside information. I did write that I didnae want to wake up on the 1st Feb wie the feeling that we have signed short-term stopgaps that dinny improve the squad

In came 5 and oot went 1. Canny remember a busier mid season transfer windae. We didnae really sign short term stop gaps- though the I have the feeling the £1.25m we gave to Dundee Utd is just to win the league- only one player signed is older than 25, only one player is on loan and the others are on longish deals and reduce the age of the squad. Improved the quality...well.....????

Whether we have strengthened the areas we needed strengthened is debateable. I felt that a CB and LB were must haves we got nether. We bolstered areas that were all ready bursting wie options but are not performing the way they should.

It’s a wait and see if the new bhoys make a contribution and if the club have matched ma high purposed % disposable ootlay wie the same ambition and outcomes I want for jeopardising ma mortgage payments and marriage. .

Wie only one leaving only the much touted Barry Robson- The Ginja Naka- can be seen as a direct replacement. Robson is having an Indian summer of his journeyman career. The comparisons to Hartley are undeniable.

Unlike Hartley though, we have signed him during his “peak” spell. The worry is, his form is a flash in the pan. Hope that he continues “the form of his life” and adds goals from a non-goal scoring midfield. That’s if he plays in the midfield and in his correct position. See Paul Hartley for what happens when this disnny happen.

Upfront, we have added Georgios of the Jungleios and Benny Bhoy Hutchie. Georgios, apart from looking like Cain Dingle, was a target before we signed JVOH who is the man whose jersey he could be pinching.

A £6m tag for the former top scorer in the Dutch League- quite a feat consider the bordellos in The ‘Dam- scared us off and we ended up wie JVOH. Unsure if he is what we need, unsure if he will be a success and unsure if he will fancy the Scottish game, lax MIB’s and thug like defending......

Ben Hutchison is an unknown. But in his favour surely he canny be any worse than Chris Killen. Oh, he also qualifies to play for Jamaica, which will keep those “jazz fag” smokers, who frequent the bogs at half time, happy in the knowledge that we have oor ain “Reggie Bhoy”.

Koykey Meezuno is another unknown. You Tube makes him seem like a player, but i reckon put a few clips of me strutting ma stuff at the fives on You Tube and you will think I’m a player. Those who know me, know different.....

But welcome to them all. They all have ma backing now they will wear the hoops. Also a guid luck to Jiri who I’m sure will have a “comfortable” lifestyle in Russia and will love those ladies who will pay him lots of attention- phone Gary O’Connor for tips, Jiri.

I’m glad the windae is over. It’s time to get back to the fitba’ and pesh wie the tackle you have. I’m away to ask MrsG if she wid gie up her season book...wish me luck....

Forza