Post Fawkirk, Thru The Windae I See Muddy Waters...

"Watch yer broon brogues, Chic...."

There are many things you can fret aboot, when yer team is aboot to embark on a make or break series of games, which could end your hopes, or Hoops, in the three remaining trophies we are competing for.

Whether yer team will be able to handle the games after a number of competent and not spectacular performances, is usually the main one closely followed by the worry that the opposition teams you are facing will raise their games against you or are in a run of “right guid” form, which could leave yer dreams in tatters.

Wie this in mind last Tuesday, on the way back from fives, where I was Pele, I decided not to turn the tranny to the game from the lane but tune into Radio Tuecther for the dulcet tones of Davie Begg and Craig- say what you see- Paterson booming from Fir Park. Glad that “The Well” sounded “normal” in a second half, which the Jam Farts dominated, wieoot creating chances, and that they are not as Superhuman as they have been made oot to be.

But as ever wie these best laid plans, it was the game from “The Rhodders” that brought the guid news. Every Sheepie goal was greeted wie a raised eyebrow and a feeling that oor trip to Westfield widnae be as difficult as first feared. After all we had played “competent” fitba’ against Killie while The Bairns were being skelped oaf Gretna at Fir Park. Two defeats, I mused, two hefty defeats the only worry is a backlash and “The Jeykell” Celtic team turning up.

What I got was the kind of performance, one below even Jekyel standard, that the beasts that feast on the succulent lamb of Sir Winalot Minty will be slavering over like a rabid dug. It had everything I didnae want. It was sloppy, Fawkirk had THREE decent penalty shouts turned doon- by a terrible referee- we scored an offside goal and questions have to be asked aboot the mentality and ability of team 3.

Even though we always struggle at Westfield- where fawkirk always adopt the extra man in the midfield tactic, and as ever the tigerish Irishman, Patrick Cregg resembled another tigerish Irish midfielder that donned the Hoops for a pension-able farewell tour, gave an exemplary performance, were you watching Scott Broon? and giving oor Gordon’s annoying habit for signing midfielders from the SPL makes you wonder why this Irishman has never darkened oor door?

As he is exactly the type of player we need.

While watching the “game”- match would be stretching it, slog feast in a boag wid maybe cover it- a nee’bor said after 85 minutes it was squeaky bum time, I replied it had been like that since the 46th minute. It was an x-rated performance, a watch wie mother and a behind the couch 90 minutes for us Setanta watchers while I’m sure it was torture to listen to the expectant Radio commentators who could smell champions blood.

Bottomline is it’s not going to get any easier. Fir Park is in a worse nick than Westfield and “The Rhodders” is tatty field level. Even the newly laid Ipox looks like it could cut up wie its forty shades of green pieces of cheap turf. Nice fitba’ is oot the windae and even if this team seemed capable of a decent fitba’ performance the parks make it null and void.

If you ever want an advert for a winter break a wee trip roond the 1st World War trenches that are masquerading fitba’ pitches should be enough to convince the suits. Forget the cash the sma’ clubs would lose, which is the ONLY reason the break was scrapped if we want the SPL to be seen as a decent league then stop playing on these pitches.

I understand that decent bowling green type pitches are NOT a guarantee for a fast flowing, Brazil 70 type games, especially if the players on the park are having mares or are just shit, and that in this climate changing world we can still get snaw in March or April, but can we all not see the point of giving the pitches a rest, the players a rest and at least giving the fans a half decent chance of seeing a decent game?

I’m sure we would all rather go oot to a game on a nice spring evening wie a decent chance of seeing a guid game rather than freezing their baws of in the middle of January, wrapped up like an Scott of the Antarctic, too watch Lee Naylor do a poor impression of a fitba’ player? Mind you, even on a nice spring night Nayls…

For those who think I’m blaming the pitches for oor “Throwingawaytheleague” form- 5 wins and 5 clean sheets, right enough-, you couldnae be further from the truth. I’m now beginning to blame the players…

Oor Gordon bemoaned the lack of the expansive game his “vision” envisaged. He blamed the conditions and the park and said we might need to change personnel to be able to handle the conditions. Looking at the squad, apart from returning Jarosik to the starting 11 getting Hinkel fit, there was no one to improve the 1st 11 that struggled at Westfield.

He has signed lightweight ba’ players who can’t adapt their game. We just have to hope oor game comes on top and we can play for at least decent spells in games. And we should be able too. Sunday saw us, Hartley apart, play what I call oor strongest 11. A side that should beat anyone in the SPL. A side that, we need to hope comes guid. Or those, rumoured, reinforcements arrive that improve the first 11 and not just the squad.

We require players that will come in and improve oor strongest 11, which is a difficult task in January. We started off well, wie the signing of Andy Hinkel, a German internationalist from a Champions League club to fill a problematic position. We then bolstered oor Japanese interest by signing Koykey Meezino, a pacy winger but questions remain how much a part he will play and how he will adapt.

The only other confirmed signing is Ben Hutchison from Boro, either, he wisnny going to make it or is the next, ahem, Emile Heskey….

When the windae shuts on Thursday night, where again I will be glued to the tranny listening to “Through the Windae” on Radio Tuecther, gleefully hoping that apart from one of the medjia’s phone going off and revelling The Sash as his ringtone, they announce a “blue chip” signing we all crave.

Instead, I reckon we will get quick fixes and really no long-term gains that give the impression that the club is just wandering blindly to nowhereville, which is second stop after Clarksville and just before Losingtheleagueandcupville.

I really want to be awake at 11:59pm on Thursday night, excited at the thought we have signed a CB, LB and Striker of Hinkelesq stature, quality- unproved yet, but players wie a similar CV would be magic- and that we huvnae just raided the Fizzy Pop league or the SPL then play the lack of money caird …as that will just give me nightmares.

But before that I want to be laying awake wie another three points under ma pillow.

We go to Fir Park, to play a team that is better than Fawkirk. They play at a higher tempo than Fawkirk and like us are as fit as an Eastern European mail order bride, so we won’t grind them down like we do many a team after shitie performances. We also play a team that has proved are fallible- defeat to St Mirren then a poor second half against the Jam Farts- and I’m safe in the knowledge that we canny be as bad again. Or can we….

Forza