Burns Would Be Naka’d If He Answered The Sweet FA Call.

What? The SFA Loyal appoint a Tim as manager.....behave....

A week that started off wie, a medija lackie chastising The Mint in his Times column- no surprise of his chosen target- and enlightening us that, those in the know- medija lackies- call the snippets that The Mint gives oot “Winalot Journalism- as the Laptop Loyal roll over, get their belly tickled and then get fed the propaganda that The Mint wishes fed to the orcish masses- we know that it’s a slow newsworthy week.

Half hearted rumours, made up pesh, agents quotes and washed oot cup replays dinny float ma boat. I want press conferences, signings be paraded at CP and newsworthy news.

Not bitching aboot supposed skulduggery wie the huns cancelling their game against the mighty East Stirlingshire- due to the sewage ridden Clyde seeping through the bare turf- and not playing it this week, a week pencilled in for CANCELLED games, but next week, which was a week pencilled in for replays just so they could get Hooton’s and McCoollucks suspensions oot the way or playing The Shire is easier than playing us- debateable- after a daunting trip to Inversenkie.

It’s all bullocks. And forgive me for not really giving a rats nad aboot the “race” for the Scotland joab. This has changed right enough from NOT giving to NOT REALLY giving a rats nad wie the leaking of the Shaun Maloney shortarsed list.

Now, my take on International fitba’ is this. It no longer has the prestige that it once had. While major tournaments still hold the glitz and razzmatazz, unimportant qualifiers against Andorra, Faro Islands and San Marino and the numerous waste of time friendlies, mean that today’s “superstars” are likely to call off injured and international fitba’ and playing for yer country no longer is AS important.

The Champions League is the only table the top, top players wish to be seen on. Playing in the CL means mair money for the already millionaires pension fund. It’s not only the players that take this attitude. Managers now see International joabs as one step from retirement or a chance to get noticed after getting yer Harry Potters.

Fabio- tax dodger- Cappello was at that stage of his career. Scotland could not attract a manager of that ilk. There was no chance that a manager like Jose Murinho or Sam Allardyce would see Scotland as a chance to get their career back on track. That’s why the short list is so under whelming and understated.

The name of The Beast, Graeme Souness, is one that reeks of supposed glamour, ego and bignameness. Now, he is oot of a joab- deservedly so- and is desperate for any port in a storm. His record is shoddy- better than others on the list- and he reeks of the hunnishness that has factored the last two appointments.

Appointing Mark McGhee would be to the detriment of the Scottish game. He has transformed Murderwell and should not even be considering taking a joab in the international wilderness. I mean the Celtic joab might be coming up in the summer if Mr McGlone is to be believed in the Alternative View

George Burley, well, problems maybe, is another who shouldnae be wanting a joab in international fitba’. But a closer look at the Southampton fans views of him, it seems he is on a shaky nail after spending mair money than other Southampton manager in the last 20 years and not getting them anywhere near promotion. He could jump before he gets pushed. Once again, like Billy Davis, getting oot wieoot damage to their reputation.

That brings me to Tommy Twists and Tommy Turns…Tommy Burns. TB is the bookies favourite. Why TB would WANT the joab is beyond me and also why the FACT that he might take the joab worries me.

It would be like an auld Uncle suddenly leaving wie the parting shot that he wisnny yer Uncle but yer Mum’s fancy bit. It just disnny feel right. For me to look over to the dugoot and not see a Celtic minded figure. They’re plenty on the park but it’s also nice to see one in the dugoot.

Ex-Celts should be in the dugoot. Over the river their dugoot resembles a lodge meeting awe double-breasted suits, broon brogues and ugliness. Make no mistake they will be installing “ra..gers WATP” mentality, supposed superiority, Struthness and will be saving the queen at every opportunity.

I like to think having TB there instils that into oor players. How much input into tactics and team selection is open to debate, his role as 1st team coach might just mean that he puts oot the cones and hands oot the bibs in training. But what aboot his fabled role in the Youth set up?

From the outside it looks like that position is being diluted as well. Wie Celtic appointing John Park and trying to appoint the heidie from the Hearts yoof set up, questions need to be asked what is the future for Burns at CP?

I for one are one of the believers that we are seeing the fruits of Burns labours in the first team just now. Over the last few seasons we have had Maloney, McGeady, Marshall, Miller, Healy, Wallace, Beattie and McManus come through and play a major part- pushing it wie Liam Miller- in the first team. We have also got money for those players when they have moved on.

Lower doon, oor reserve and under 19 players seem to be in demand for loans or perminate moves. Quinn, McGlincey, McGowan and O’Brien are all recent examples of that.

After failed attempts at management, he did create a fantastic attacking side but only won one cup, he got Kilmarnock promoted and failed after spending a kings ransom at Reading, the un pressurised role of yoof development, 1st team coachness and 2nd in command seem to suit TB.

Whatever ma nostalgic take on his fantastically unsuccessful side, I for one would not like to see TB get the Hoops joab again. True gentleman, fantastic player and a TRUE TIM but as history proved not cut oot for high-pressure management.

I was in the Govan Stand the night Burn’s reign ended as Celtic manager. It was peshing doon wie rain and Burn’s in a fawn raincoat?, was oot the dugoot screaming at Di Canio to switch wings, to adhere to tactics….Di Canio refused. As Fawkirk, in a hideous rid top, celebrated wie their “confused” fans it was over.

I’m sure he is a proud man. One that believes that he would do a decent joab for Scotland. He has been number two for both McVogts and McCardie. Both of those managers, esp McCardie, played the sort of antifitba’ that seems alien to TB’s “vision”.

Would he be able to change tact? Would he want to change tact? Has he been around new age Scottish managers- I’m including GS in this- long enough that he now believes that the wattienaccio and bigecknaccio is the future and playing 2-2-6- wie the two at the back being Malky McKay and John Hughes- is no longer applicable?

Why would he also want to leave Celtic to go to the SFA if the joab he is now being offered wisnny on offer before Big Eck worked his ticket? Does he see his time at Celtic coming to an end and is willing to jump into bed wie the perceived devil only a few months back?

Twice he has been overlooked for the number one joab. He walked away the second time flicking a V-sign awe the way to Lennoxtoon. So what has changed?

After two hunnish appointments are the SFA playing the Celtic card- there is a growing anti Scotland feeling- by asking Burn’s for an interview. As wie oor paranoid mentality we already think a body that has appointed two ex-huns and is run by an ex-hun favours, well, the huns and ex-huns.

Think Glesga city council but the other way aboot.

So, adding another twist to oor paranoia, why do I think that if things go pear-shaped for TB if he gets the joab, that the SFA Loyal will feed him to the medija gleefully while lining up Billy Boy Davis- after he has been sacked from Havent and Waterlooville- to take over while blaming kafflick skools.

Another thing- fecking long this..nuthin on the telly- is that the kilt , see you jimmy hat, timberland offessial shirt wearing turtun urmie fitsoliders dinny want Burns quoting, quite rightly, his poor record and their logic that George “hic hic” Burley would better resemble, sorry, would be the correct man to take them forward.

Tommy would be better walking away from this. If he walked away from the Hoops, I would wish him well, give him ma full backing- unlike the previous two, cuts run deep and as is ma right as a card carrying fitba’ fan I’m fickle- when Scotland play.

It would be a sad day for the Hoops if that were to happen.

I think Sourness should get the joab. Just for ma entertainment factor. But I really wanted Jim Jeffries to be in wie a shout. I mean…he fits the profile of the perfect international manager.

He has took his club side as far as he can. He willnae be sacked but willnae improve them anymair. He is tactically pesh and would suit setting up Ecosse in the wattienaccio system at home against Iceland while playing Gary Locke as the holding midfielder.

And his interviews wid be brilliant. Imaging us, just getting gubbed off the Dutch and dour Jim facing Europe’s press…his opening gambit “Fecking lucky Dutch barstewards, awe six goals came from oor errors……”

Forza