Lotw Diary- The Wisdom of Rob McLean

It’s been a while since the “fulcrum of Setanta’s sports coverage” has graced us wie his wisdom. So I’m glad to see he is at his usual earth shattering best in this blog..

The two most likely eventualities - you can call them virtual certainties if you wish - are an Old Firm two-horse race for the championship and a speedy return to the First Division for Gretna.

I’m sure you will agree, this is a prediction worthy of David Icke predicting Armageddon while dressed in Bob the Builder pyjamas and will have us all running to the nearest bookies to lay this months mortgage payment on it coming true.

Forza

LOTW Diary- Reserves v R*ngers

When the reserves run out at Broadwood today to play the mini h*ns the line could point to the future of a few players who are on the fringes of the 1st team and it could also be an indication of the strength of team GS will select for tomorrow nights game against the cousins of h*ns, which is sure to attract a bumper crowd.

Then again it may not. Wie the squad down to the preverbal bare bones we should expect a young side to take the field at Broadwood, wie the normal 1st team benchwarmers of Rioirdon, Sno, Jaro, O’Brien and O’Dea donning their Nike trackies for another exciting night on the bench on Wednesday.

Whether, after bemoaning the number of games we have played, oor manager trusts any of them to get a starting berth, remember Dundee away though Gordon, remains to be seen.

The thought of Sno on a cauld East End night may just lower the attendance even more....

Forza.

Update

Strong line up’s from both the teams. Elvis, Bobo, O’Dea and Rioirdon all got 90mins under their belts, which deems Deek’s involvement tomorrow evening irrelevant. Interesting that Jim O’Brien was nowhere to be seen, right back slot tomorrow evening?, and the words “Bobo Balde goalscorer” have been uttered this side of the autumn.

Here’s Pravda's review.

Lotw Diary- Spiers Sums Up R*ngers

For being a r*ngers fan as a boy, new Times lackie Graham Spiers at times disnny half sum up why we hate or dislike all things blue. Spiers just seems to have the knack of ticking the boxes and pointing oot what makes r*ngers such a dislikeable club.

In today’s Times, Spiers waffles in his own style about David Murray. But in this paragraph, he nails it in a nutshell the difference between Celtic and them.

Murray loved the “establishment club” image of Rangers, which suited his own growing “business class” status as a Scottish entrepreneur, and so the regular slayings of Celtic were in keeping with his outlook. His subtext was: these upstarts from Glasgow’s grubby east end need to know their place, they need to know the pecking order.

In the article Spiers points out the pomp and over extravagance of the early nineties Murray persona. Even then that persona was nothing compared to the late nineties when his “one team for Scotland another for Europe” and his chasing football utopia ended up wie a moonbeam and not riches.

Murray now cuts a lonely almost scrooge like figure, one that is looking for an out and is busy chasing his tail trying to make a success of his numerous failures.

His moonbeam failed and his returning to “wattienaccio” reeks of desperation but one in keeping wie the regression of the club under his stewardship and his belief of the “traditions and heritage” of the “establishment club”.

Thing is, no matter successes that may come his and wattie’s way, his pecking order view, one that is shared by the vocal majority that pollute the stands in Govan will always ensure that r*ngers are seen as damaged goods to any investor. Take that view away and all you have is a bloated beast of a fitba club.

Forza.

View From The Wing- Fans and Motherwell.

“For those who are oppressed in song we can protest”

Well maybe not in today’s modern society. I went along to the protest against John Reid today I was late and the protest was winding up so I can’t say I took part but I wanted to meet and speak to some of the Green Brigade members. Meet a few but I can’t say I achieved my aim but I was a bit taken aback by the reaction of certain “fans” and also Strathclyde finest.

Now, I remember the sack the board protests, hell I remember the days when the Celtic support would protest at a chip wrapper blowing around the car park but today’s fan just stood and stared. There was no coming across and engaging in why the protest was happening and there were a few shouts of abuse. The polis constant filming of a peaceful protest caused the lack of participation for me. Made you feel guilty of a crime standing talking to fellow Tims.

Maybe I don’t agree wie all the GB’s politics and views, I mean you never will agree 100% wie anyone but I agree wie what they are trying to do. Bring colour and atmosphere back to following Celtic. With their banners yesterday I feel they deserve oor support along wie a spell checker!!!

So to the game. Apart from certain “fans” abusing talent like Aiden McGeady who produced a display of magnificent wing play, pace and skill but still gets shouted at and the guys who abuse Scott Brown for running around like the Scott Brown that we paid £4million for.

It’s hard to judge a game after the week we have just had. Yesterdays game could have went either way, Arfur had a couple of cracking saves and as oor manager says the first goal is crucial in any game. We created numerous chances before we scored, their keeper had a game that reminded me of a flying pigs performance against us a few season back, but when we eventually scored, the goal scorer was not a surprise but the fact he scored wie a heider from a corner was.

The manager praised the Killen and Skippy partnership. Chris Killen was slagged by wags on my bus on the way home. Now, while the big fellow will never trouble the top class defenders he will face playing in the CL there is some doubts that he will even trouble defenders at SPL level.

His last start, domestically, against Gretna produced a performance I slated at the time but after watching the re-run decided I was a bit hard on the fellow. Yesterday, I thought he had a decent first half, he had a number of chances that made the Motherwell goalie work and his link up play was decent. Second, well I think his 70 odd minute lone front man role on Wednesday took it’s toll, I mean he is a big lump takes a fair bit of effort to carry it aboot.

But in terms of big front men we have been spoiled. Killen is not in the Hartson or Sutton class. He is being compared to two masters of the big man art. I will take performances like yesterday from him as really he is bosman signing from Hibs and before that was a bosman signing from Oldham reserves. Not a £12million price tag in his history.

So, we had a number of good performances but again I find it difficult to judge. If this performance had been before the CL had started I probably would have spouted hyperbole that Hartley and Brown would stand up in the CL and we could get away wie oor fullbacks being Naylor and Caldwell.

Now wie the CL underway, I worry that we gave Motherwell to many chances and that we still gave the ball away against an OK SPL side. Nae happy medium here…

Forza

Update

Yesterday's goals are here at http://www.101greatgoals.com/ , just scroll down past every game from England, Germany, Italy and Outer Mongolia i think and you will find it...sure you will agree this site is a must have on your favourites....

Update Updated

I know the link to the GB's banners disnny work.....

View From The Wing- "Wattienaccio"

The musings on the TV, there of Mark McGhee and Billy Dodds regarding r*ngers, Celtic and Aberdeens game got me thinking. They were full of praise of the set up of all teams for their respective games.

The "Wattienaccio" system seems to be flavour of the month all across Scotland at the moment and it won't be long until it is appearing at a public park near you soon. So why is this?

Personally i blame Andy Roxburgh and his think tank. He arranges the forums that gets all coaches together to discuss new innovations. A few weeks back their was one at St Andrews for all the SPL managers and the guests of hounor were Ferguson, Moyes and Houllier.

I'm sure Irons, Leven, Jeffries and them all lapped up the talks on tactics from Moyes and Houllier. I mean these two are the masters of boring the living daylights oot of you by the teams and tactics they have fielded in the past.

I'm sure Roxburgh and Craig Brown are proud their template is now seen as the future....

Forza

View From The Wing- Benfica

"If you don't give the ball away then you don't have to chase so much. And the less you have to chase, the fresher you are mentally and physically,"

Said Mr Strachan after he blamed tiredness on last nights defeat. It’s true and the aim is to stop it happening. So how do you stop it happening?

For one you stop buying players from Scottish teams, unless they are extra special, and you stop buying expensive and not so expensive foreigners who don’t improve the team. You then rear your own players that are comfortable on the ball and your scouting has to be spot on in lesser known countries- that produce technically better players than us Scots- to sign talent before the big guns get interested.

Thing is that all takes time. We have only produced one player who looks comfortable on the ball at the highest level, and even then he has be prone to terrible performances, in the last 20 years and oor scouting and signings seem to amount to raking the championship and SPL clubs.

Yes, we have bought players wie supposed CL quality but you have to ask have they flourished wie the journeymen and technically poorer youngsters that they have been paired wie, which means that we have to play an unnatural style?

Blessing is, the record for games without an away win in the CL is 31 games. We have 16 to go until we beat that but unless GS produces miracles on the training field then we will be mightily close to that 31 figure before we get near wining away from home…..

Forza

Benfica 1 Celtic 0

Late goals are a sickener or a brilliant end to a game. Tonight, unfortunately for us it was the later after the high of Meelan.. But tonight it’s not as much as a sickener as the Brave Celts tag that seems to get put upon the Hoops- and any other Scottish team- when a back against the wall performance goes pear-shaped or goes well.

It’s wee man syndrome. A syndrome that seems to think that effort over skill constitutes a fantastic performance. Yes, make no mistake I’m pleased that we showed effort and if the application of doing yer job, as you should, were applied not just to the defence but also to the more offensive areas of the field then we maybe would have deserved something from the game.

Yes, we worked hard but oor lack of bravery on the ball, lack of composure and the fact that we couldnae hold oor water for more than two passes at a time mean that we deserved what we got. Benfica played the fitba’ and to quote a famous Argentinean we played the “anti fitba” as we sat in, especially in the second half.

It was a nervous performance from us; it was one of a team that was unsure of the style they were playing but one that was willing to put in the effort to make this style work. The away record is now playing on the minds of both the players and the backroom staff. This was proved in how we set up in, what is now being called the “wattienaccio” formation…a formation, that is taking Scottish Fitba' by storm and also one that bakes performances like tonights.

As oor manager says we paid the price for not keeping possession well. If we had kept possession better then maybe the moments in the game when we looked good would have lasted for longer periods. Only McGeady got passmarks in an offensive sense. In fact McGeady was the only Celtic player to play fitba all night.

Not out of it, not by a long way. But tonight is not up there wie the kick in the gonads as nights of Juve, Lyon and Munich were. Yes I’m disappointed, I’m feckin gutted, but I know tonight’s performance is up there wie the other poor performances I have seen from the Hoops away from home. Only the result and the lateness of the goal make it seem different…

Forza

The Holy Goalie

Sent this by Evil Rhum Ba Ba

Who says that Artur doesn't take his religion seriously.

come on the Hoops!!!!

A War Cry From Lisboa...Well Not Really...

Unsure what I was expecting from today's UEFA press conference. Maybe I was wanting a rallying cry, an Artur type shout from the rooftops but the closest we got was this

"I can say to the players, 'you are (still) top of the league'.
"I would prefer it to be on points but it is on goal difference.
"I can also say 'you beat AC Milan, you are still in the CIS cup, you got chances at the weekend and never took them but you are doing a lot of things well'.

Unsure what things we are doing well, it certainly isn’t defending cross balls, oor defense is not making decisions well, nope we are not creating or keeping the ball like a professional fitba team should and finally we certainly are not adjusting to containing tactics well. Oh, it’s not definitely standing up and being counted well enough all over the park.

Tomorrow night will depend on how oor injuries clear. Tactics will be settled by the players that, worryingly for me, declare themselves fit.

No matter GS musings that it will be up to Mick if he plays or not but I’m sure, I hope, the doctors will make the final decision. But it’s a decision that shouldnae be made. He should be ruled oot even though that weakens an already weak back line a players long term health is paramount.

If he plays and is not 100% fit it’s a disaster waiting to happen. I only hope common sense prevails in this situation. Otherwise, I hope the game is still alive after 10mins and that GS tactics suit the players at his disposal and allow us to flourish by letting the players do what they are good at and not pandering to the normal away European tactics as we feel we should.

Forza

Should Have Been..Sweet F**k All

News, today that oor game against Falkirk on the 10th November, a whole week before Scotland take on Italy in the final group game of the European Championship Qualifiers, has been postponed couldnae go without comment.

It’s OK for the SFA to ask us to rest oor players a full seven days before a game but expects us to play games after delivering oor players back to us on a Friday, sometimes after 9 or 10 hour flights, at lunchtime on Saturdays.

Will the SFA ask other teams like Man Utd, Everton, Derby, Reading and erm..Burnley and Sheff Utd to postpone their games as well?

And how shite must Alex McLeish be if he needs longer than 6 days to get his players prepared for a big game?

Forza

Say What You See Artur.....

"I don't have to like anybody - and I don't. I don't like them, I don't like the club and I don't like the players - end of story.

What would Scottish Football do without oor Artur? In a play on the famous song by the Welsh wailer Bonnie- anything but- Taylor, Scottish fitba’ needed, not a hero, but a villain when Neil Lennon left but oor Arfur made sure he was this seasons pantomime villain wie an interview that makes his feelings clear.

When he says he disnae like the “club” we know the reasons why he disnae like the club. It’s the only place in Britain that you can get reported for “blessing” yourself and the media then blame you for doing it and that you might have caused a riot.

Right, Arfur is a wind up merchant. Make no mistake but he is a character. I hear all the time that characters are no longer in the game. I also hear talk shows and written word lackies moaning aboot the lack of passion shown in the traditional “derbies” wie all the foreigners now taking part. Arfur gives them what they want in one big lump of 6-foot odds Polish daftness.

From a Celtic point of view I’m glad he has come and said what he said. In the aftermath of a roll over and die performance once again at the home of oor rivals then at least we can look on the pitch and see at least one player that reflects some of oor passion.

Wonder if he can rub it off on the other 10….

Forza

Good News...

So, we are dealing with it. We are all probably dealing with it in oor own way, some will be bevvying, others eating pies and some like me will be trying to look forward to the Benfica game withoot panicing aboot O'Dea or Caldwell at right back and Sno patroling the middle of the park.

But as always, every cloud has a sliver lining wie this guid news

Steven Pressley has been included in the squad after recovering from back surgery and there is also a recall for out-of-favour defender Bobo Balde.

Magic......

Forza

Dignified and Paranoid as always

Now ma hangover fuzziness has disappeared, how come you party harder whenyer team gets beat?, i decided i was in the right frame of mind to trawled the net for post match reaction to Saturdays "efforts".

Apart from the usual get GS to feck threads that we seem to generate when poor results happen for once i tend to agree wie most of the match reviews written and in today's Times i found a quote from the "cardiemiester" that sorts of backs up Celtic

“I know there were a lot of bookings but it wasn’t that sort of match tome, I didn’t think it was overly physical.

No the game was not as physical as i thought it would be. But we stillpicked up 9 (nine) bookings and for all of Smiths apparent graciousness in his comments the majority of bookings were caused by his players going doon easily in any position where there gameplan of getting as many freekicks in a"whip the baw in the box" area could be executed.

Not that there is anything wrong wie that tactic especially when it's clear from early doors that the ref will give you all the free kicks you want and ignore any studs up, tackles from behind or common assaults, one that put a guy in hospital,from anyone in a blue jersey.

Smiths gracious comments also fall on deaf ears as 1) he set up his team toplay for "soft" free kicks and 2) his backroom fud's reaction when Mick was being carried off when the fud quite clearly told the player that the challenge on Mick was what he was meant to be doing and giving him the greenlight to do it again.

Forza

"Deal With It"

When I typed that GS seemed to be getting his excuses in early, I did so half jokingly but deep down I was worried. But again oor manger seems to be one for the most illogical of quotes and views on the game.

"We did make chances but didn't take them. They made chances and took them."

Right, we made two half chances- Jaro and Skippy- and a stick on chance, from the bemusing Donati, but other than that we created nothing, which is becoming the norm against r*ngers.

Read somewhere that GS said we would have to “deal with it” regarding the result. But how often do we have to deal wie performances from players who seem ill equipped and ill prepared when they take the field in big games.

Saturdays performance comes as no surprise to all of us who have watched Celtic under Strachan. We can be great or we can be so pish poor it’s embarrassing.

Also how long will we need to “Deal with” strange tactical tweaks to the team? Ok, GS went for the “new black” formation of 4-4-1-1, which I agreed wie, but…O’Dea at right back, Regi Donati as the deep lying midfielder and Sno who has been poor all season playing further forward was bemusing to say the least.

The whole blame can’t all be laid at the managers door. While some paid for being oot of position, half fit and rusty others were just poor. We handed them a victory without laying a glove on them, which is unacceptable.

Did Smith tactically out fox GS? You have to say yes, but a blind man who has lost his guide dug could tell you where oor weak spots are, it’s not rocket science.

Suppose I’ll just need to take the managers words to heart and just “Deal with it”.

Forza

Regi Blinker Award

......Goes to Massimo Donati......shitebag........

They had no pressure, no period when they were the better side, how did it end up 3....cause we let it.......i'm scunnered........

No matter the result, no matter the championship, being Celtic is so much more than yer team being successful, is aboot being on the right path, its aboot being guid within yerself, it's about believing and being brave in the face of adversity....

I wish the team would have the same attitude...apart from Arfur we don't hate enough but maybe we are better people for it.

Forza

Get yer excuses in early....

“Physically, it’s going to be a problem and mentally it’s the same. You have to deal with that, but it’s hard sometimes.“You won’t find players at their sharpest. I know for a fact that you would get a better game if the players from both sides had an extra two days of rest.”

Oor manager has come oot wie some “classic Strachan” in his time but getting his excuses in before the game is even guid for him. More worryingly I’m sure he mentioned the aforementioned lack of mental and physical sharpness before the last abject performance at Mordor.

Forza

For The Greater Good

It’s the nature of derbies all over the world that the diddy team will get a victory occasionally or will have a run of games where they seem to have a hex over you.

Yes, I don’t like getting beat but if my team play wie passion and heart- unlike the last time we visited Mordor- then we canny ask for more. If they get beat and have just rolled over and died- like the last time- then I’m more annoyed wie ma team and not the fact that we have got beat by them.

Yes, I will have the nervous tension at 7am, when I will wake on Saturday, and yes I will probably wish I was going to support my team in what is a hostile atmosphere and yes I want to stuff them, like a big game hunter stuffs his kill and mounts them in his hallway to boast aboot when Farquar comes round for dinner, but I somehow no longer get the feeling that I’m going to be sick before these games. I now get more nervous before European nights. Maybe I now see the bigger picture.

Which, somewhat long windily, brings me to my point. I read wie interest that r*ngers are rushing back players who are injured. I hear this evening that GS says players that are not 100% fit will not be risked and I agree.

If Hesslelink, Brown, Hartley and Caldwell have any chance of being a 100% fit for the game on Wednesday in Lisboa then they must not play at Ipox. They can't take the field on Saturday only running at 60 or 70%.

Oor competing in the wider scheme of things after Christmas, in the Champs League or the UEFA Cup, could hang on getting a decent result in Lisboa. We have 28 games after Saturday and 3 of them are against oor foes. Saturday is not life threatening, maybe we will get a bloody nose but we can sort that.

Forza

The Rise and, Could Be, Fall Of Jim O'Brien

In this week when Celtic news has been a bit slow, not very much to be sarcastic or comment aboot and Celtic quotes or players have been as rare in the papers as they have been at the Hoops new training center, it was wie much relief that when one player finally put his heid over the parapet that he gave us an oh ma god moment.

After the hopes of the nation crashed like an on fire Zeppelin over Berlin, Jim O’Brien, the forward and winger who’s style reminds me of the ungainly Frank McGarvey, gave us something to worry aboot ….

“I came on there against Gretna and I played right-back in a closed-doors
friendly with Dundee last week and it felt okay. In the first half, I was a wee
bit wary of going too far forward, but after the break I settled down.“Willie
McStay spoke to me about a few things and I felt a lot more confident. If the
manager wants me to play there, I’ll go in and do my best, give it everything
and try to learn as much as I can about the position.”

We wouldnae try and turn a winger into a full back would we? We wouldnae throw a winger into a game where a bad performance in an unfamiliar position would probably end his Celtic career or worse for the lad a decent performance may ear mark him as a full back for the rest of his days?

I think before Jim made those quotes he should have locked himself into a darkened room and said the name “Ross Wallace” a thousand times to remind himself what happened the last time oor manager experimented in this way….

Forza

Graham Roberts is a horses….

A few weeks back I was listening to ma daily dose of Alan Brazil on Talksport when he interviewed his former team-mate the fat conductor himself Graham Roberts. Now the fat conductor was bemoaning the fact as a self proclaimed Tottenham leg-end that he was left oot their 125 years celebrations.

Maybe his not guilty verdict in a certain court case still wisnny enough for the Spurs suits to allow him on the park wie anti-Jewish sentiments hanging over him but whatever it caused quite a bit of a stir on the Spurs Worldwide Web.

So imaging ma surprise after listening to him whining and saying that “He would have run through a brick wall for Spurs” when yesterday I read in the Sunday Herald, an interview that dissny paint him in a good light, that he is now a “a r*ngers man through and through”

So what has changed during the last fortnight? Would a book release and the fact that he will be the “guest of honor” at Ipox on Saturday have anything to do wie this shitty thug of a player becoming a uberh*n?

Forza

Bang, Goes Ma Senses...

The paranoia wrecked and stressful week that will ensue in the lead up to the first Glesga derby started yesterday. It started yesterday while Scotland was again defying the odds by beating the Ukraine. While the curse of the right back is already there for all to see at CP, wie Wilson, JJPD, Hartley and Caldwell all succumbing to the curse in the last few weeks yesterday saw more woes.

Yesterday I watched Scott Brown leave the field holding his hammie and saw Mick give a Ukrainian a Glesga kiss. Mick ended up reminding me of another Mick who played for the Hoops who permanently seemed to play wie a bandage round his heid.

But signs that ma logic and realism were taking leave of ma body was two incidents concerning r*ngers “blue chip summer signing” Lee McCulloch. Did I really “think oot loud” that he got himself booked deliberately to be suspended for the midweek game as he canny play “two games a week” © Wallie Smith, and that when he went doon injured in the second half did I really “think oot loud” that I hope the injury was serious as he was a major threat to us?

Forza

Celtic Fall In The Clyde And Come Oot Wie A Salmon

Tonight, we can breathe a collective sigh of relief as a support. A fine that is going down rapidly, what is it now £12,500, a set of trackies, couple of training baws and a set of bibs and suspended for two years depending on whether Glesga gets less than 300 days rain in the next 24 months.

Not like UEFA to make anything simple but I really so think we have got off lightly, very lightly as I expected a bigger fine. Oor thanks should be winging there way to Dida for being an arse and also to Milan for their suitably embarrassed reaction.

While oor reputation and the fact as the Sky Sports reporter said “UEFA likes us” has played a big part in this it still disnae stray from the fact that I think UEFA have let us off lightly and, again, missed the opportunity, like they have done on numerous occasions concerning racism and bigotry to hammer home the message that wrong doing off the park will not be tolerated.

But I’m glad for it, on this occasion.

Forza

Little General Baws

In this week, an international week, where nothing much will happen apart from the press getting them worked up into a jingoistic fever akin to the Romans in the coliseums, waiting the feeding of peasants to the lions, things of note or comment will be few and far between.

After Ecosses victory in Paris, a victory that confirmed ma non-pluses to the international scene and Scotland’s results, plus the reaction to the supposed “return of Scotland as a force in the world game ’” © Bill Leckie, Hugh Keevins, The Daily Record and The Sun after last weeks European exploits, I’m glad that someone has been quoted in print that makes ma warped sense of irony and, the what the meeja would call ma small-mindedness, make sense.

In today’s Herald, there is an interview wie little Dick Advocaat. In his musings came this gem

“Scotland had some problems before but they have been fixed by my old friends Walter Smith and now Alex. I am delighted for Alex, I knew he could do and that is why myself and David Murray gave him the opportunity at R*ngers”

The little General as always, modesty in broon brogues and an ill-fitting suit.

So, cause of ma dislike on the aforementioned general and since he is taking credit for his “friends” rising stock, I no longer feel bad for having thoughts aboot Scotland having the biggest collapse since Dida was “swedged” in the East End and Big Eck presiding over the most glorious, inglorious failure in Scotland’s international history, one, which he snatches 3 defeats from the jaws of victory and national sainthood.

And also I no longer feel bad, not that I did anyway, wishing for r*ngers to become a national laughing stock by losing their remaining 4 Champions League games by 4-0…

Forza

Peter the Pointer

It’s always a sad day when you hear of an ex-Celt, some would call a Celtic legend, I would maybe term a loyal servant who lived the dream and was well rewarded wie a testimonial, being doon on his luck. When I read Peter Grants comments after his Norwich side crashed to QPR I knew his “Harry Potters” were in the post.

Looks like oor Peter was quite honest wie his assessment of himself and judging by what I have read and heard he looks like he has made a few mistakes along the way, slagging players in public, bad signings- he was Alan Pardew’s assistant right enough- and not scoring in six games is panic stations in any chairman or womans book.

While Peter was one that split the Celtic support, I remember loving him when he broke into the team then when the bleak times came he was the easy target, I think he would admit himself he was never the most talented player. But he was a honest player that gave his all.

For me the game that sums up Peter Grant was the 1995 Scottish Cup Final. Injured and struggling he alone carried the team that day to end the barren of barren spells. So here it is, worth watching for the 8 odd minutes during this international week.

Forza

No Fanfare, Just A few Pitches, A Gym And A Hydropool

After the initial faux pas by the men in suits by only inviting “The Daily Record” and “The Sun”- two papers openly despised and ridiculed by the Hoops support- to an open day a few weeks back, the rest of the minions that frequent the Scottish meeja, along wie a few well connected ligers and neebours, got the full tour treatment yesterday.

While, the new photo’s show Celtic FC Training Centre in a better light than the original “oot of toon Homebase” ones that “The Sun” and “Record” treated us too, the disappointment of the lack of thought that has gone into the name is galling.

For something so grand you would have thought a grand name would have been forthcoming. Well we thought wrong and maybe the men in suits have just read us correctly. As Celtic Park is called “Parkheid” by the vast majority they probably thought what was the point of giving the complex a grand name when we will just call it Lennoxtoon” anyway.

Forza

Eggchasin'

As the LOTW resident ''officianado of egg chasing, have been sent a few images from fellow eggchasing buddies, concerning the demise of our antipodean cousins at the weekend.

Thankfully Messers MacDonald & Killen saved some much needed ANZAC pride (and ours) with their late two on Sunday.

As the man who predicted on this very blog of the Kiwi habit of 'choking' on the big occassion - I also give you.

Another Terrible Man In Black....

A guid referee isn't noticed during a game. A guid performance from the "man in black" is one where you don't remember him being on the pitch. We must just be unlucky up here that wie balloons like Birnes, Clark, McDonald and now Mr Brian Winter officiating oor games that invisible ref's won't be possible.

This clip of The winning goal sums up Mr Winters performance and mindset. His instance on man handling the Hoops players after the goal, then his fat little school master grab, then the way brandishes the yellow card- for celebrating in front of yer own fans- tells you all you need to know aboot what kind of ref he is or wants to be.

Mr Winters added to the sort of amateur game, doon the public park atmosphere of yesterday and i have seen better officiating from drunk Sunday League officials. His build alluded to the fact that he liked a pie and his officiating was as bloated.

Apart from that, the winning goal clip...pay attention to the Gretna's player reaction when he realises that he has played Skippy on.....priceless...at least their was something amusing to come oot of yesterdays 90mins.

Forza

Oh here is Chris Killen's goal..watched the game again..maybe i was a bit hard on the big man, his goal was well took.

Gretna 1 Celtic 2

Strange thing is fitba. I mean yer team has just beaten the European champions and then are six minutes from one of the most- would have been the third in Strachans reign- embarrassing results in oor history.

Strange thing is fitba. A game where yer manager gives job's for the bhoys a new slant by playing a midfielder at right back just to give him a game, then brings on a winger at right back for a centre back then brings on a centre midfielder at centre forward to pump high balls too and watches a centre forward- who we were glad was left on the park right enough- plough aboot, adding to the notion that he only plays fitba as he is the only New Zelander that canny play rugby.

Even stranger thing that fitba is, is the fact that yer manager the blames the ball for his teams brutal, inept, terrible display and then says

"So I told the players to play reality football.

"It is in the players' mindset to play entertaining football but it wasn't working, it was horrendous to watch so we needed to get back to reality.

I would rather get the fantasy fitba of midweek than the reality that was served up today. None of the 11 got passmarks. It was one of those games to forget as soon as the final whistle went. I'm sure the management and the players feel exactly the same.

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Not Much Ado Aboot Gretna

Hunting newsnow this morning for clues aboot the formation possible changes or tactics oor Gordon will line up for the game v the SPL newcomers Gretna today. Find the fall oot from Wednesday's "incident" still dominating and a strange feeling off guid will, that we are the "Greatest small nation in the world" so get it right up ye, and tub thumping, which would do the English media proud.

Still, i found a found a few wee gems. On oor trip to Motherwell today this quote from Dingus McGhee in his Herald article, confirmed what we long knew

IWAS AT a Motherwell supporters' forum during the Lyon-Rangers game but it wasn't hard to remain well-informed about what was happening in France. There were television screens showing the Champions League and the fans in our venue greeted each Rangers goal with a massive cheer.

Now, if i was a manager and ma "fans" were going apeshite over another teams result then i would be worried. As an article in the same publication says it's unhealthy for opposing fans to have such a positive reaction to their rivals results. Maybe the above says more aboot Motherwell "fans" and where their hearts really are.

Now, the fact we are going to Motherwell today too watch a team that are based 80 odd miles away shows what a Mickey Mouse league, off the park anyway, that we compete in. While on the park, the national team and Celtic have been doing their bit for oor reputation in world fitba- notice i don't care aboot the other club teams as it's unhealthy to want them to win- off the park the bumbling fools in suits do their best to damage the game by killing the romance.

Their decision a few years back, to make Inverness play in Aberdeen, their allowing East Fife to move their game against r*ngers a few weeks back and them ignoring the fact that Gretna could have had their stadium up to "standards"- anyone that has been to Westfield will know those standards are a joke- by September but then still force them to pay a full seasons rent to Motherwell is against what makes fitba, fitba.

I should be experiencing the delights of Gretna today. Gretna deserve to be playing in Gretna. They won their league and the 86 men, 24 women, 12 children and 1 dog that have followed them during their rise deserve to have the Scottish and current "European champions" visiting their patch.

At £24 quid for a ticket today it's a bit steep. But it's a price the SPL have forced them to charge due to their ruling. Usually i wouldn't go as for years we have been the cash cow for the small club but i feel this is different, it is also new as Celtic huvnae played Gretna before and after years of touring the country wie the Hoops experiencing new things appeal to this fan.

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Writing On The Jaro Wall

When the Hoopy hoards were ploughing through the rain towards the floodlit paradise that is Celtic Park on a Champions League night, i'm sure i was not the only one that shook their heads in bemusement when they heard Jiri Jarosik was starting in the midfield.

Jarosik's exile had seen him take his biscuit-ersed features round the backwaters of Airdrie, Brechin and Montrose where he roamed aboot looking uninterested in front of three men and a dug.

He was deemed not worthy of starting against St Mirren, ICT or Dundee and here he was loping aboot a rain soaked CP giving Lee Naylor a dig oot by keeping Oddo and Rino quiet.

He also gave a dossier to Spartak Moscow and openly bemoaned recently that he shouldnae turned doon a move to Kiev as he is dreaming of the bright lights of, eh, Sunderland or Birmingham.

Yesterday oor manager said he was brought in for his "height and physicality".

Makes you wonder what Evander Sno makes of it all.......

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A Song For Oor Gordon

First things first. Here is some "Classic Strachan" taking nae snash fae a Sky Sports lackie. It has been a debate for a while in the Hoopy world that we should sing Gordon Strachans name more often.After Wednesday's night result coupled wie beating Man Utd and winning two leagues it can be argued that we should be bellowing his name from the rooftops.

Well, that's old hat as it has already been done better than what we and Charlie and the Bhoys could ever do.

Check oot this song by a band from Limerick called "The Hitchers" it's title is "Strachan", it's classic indie punkish rock aboot a guy falling oot wie his girlfriend over Gordon Strachan. I'm sure we can all relate to that.....

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Thanks to http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/ for the clip

Meelan- The Final Word

It's all aboot the fitba, this final word. We huvnae really discussed the fitba, the game, the match but tonight it really hit me how massive a result it was. Due to the "incident" i probably never enjoyed the result last night. Tomorrow, after discussing the game this evening wie fellow Tims i will go into my work tomorrow wie a spring in ma step.

Unlike Gordon, i couldn't give a monkey's regarding the Scottish Resurgence, i'm only bothered aboot oor result and what it does for oor profile. A quick look round the net and you can see what it did for oor profile. Make no mistake the Hoops are the talk of the steamie.

I find hard not to disagree wie Carlos Ancelotti when he says Milan didnae deserve to lose. It was a harsh result on the reigning European Champs in a cagey game, played on a typical autumn night in Glesga on a rain soaked pitch. The pitch had a lot to do wie the mistakes made by both teams as did Celtic's cautious approach, which could also account for the fact the game was quite poor until the last half hour.

"We planned not to lose it in the first half so we planned to win it in the second half,"

Said oor Gordon after the match. On the way to the game, wie nae CD player on the bus, we had to listen to Real Radio and the dross that GS was copying Wallie Smith wie the 5 in the midfield.

While R*ngers look comfortable playing in that sort of formation i don't feel it suits us, i felt that even though as GS said Aiden and Brown were "good team mates" i felt the formation didnae suit and even though they did a lot of guid work defensively going forward they were a non event.

Yes, oor defence looked safer wie the solid bank of five in front, the extra cover producing a performance from Lee Naylor but due to this cautious approach or respectful approach oor chances were few and far between. It also limited Milan to few chances.

But we can work on that. One thing that can't be improved on from last night is the work rate, effort, guts and determination that the players showed. We made oor own luck by getting decent balls into the box from set pieces. We need that at this level and playing an alien formation against the instincts of oor players.

Still Milan can join the long list of scalps and be added to the long list of nights that will be remembered. Tomorrow i will enjoy more than i enjoyed today. So i think i will post the goals just cause times like these must be savoured..i mean watch GS celebration...and you forgive him for playing Jarosik....

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Dida, Dida, Get To F*ck But Maybe Not...

Left this morning seeking comfort regarding the "incident"- as it shall be known- and i must admit i found it in some strange places. First, things first lets have a wee look at the "incident", which made Dida such a figure of fun.

First place i looked for reaction was the cesspool that the lowlifes of the Scottish fitba nobodies usually frequent that is pie and bovril. Too may surprise i found maeself laughing oot loud at some of the comments, early comments, and was surprised at the backing we received.

Then i made a trip doon the wing to the leftback who also shows how a goalie should handle a pitch invader then i for lunch i went for some pies who also started backing up the view i was coming round to.

This view, i will get round to it dinny worry, was re-enforced by Milans Statement and then Mr Quinns rant this re-enforced ma view that Dida's laughable actions and the reasoning behind his actions, to get away wie his error by getting the result overturned will ensure that we will get a fine and only a fine.

If all Brazilian men are as weak as Dida, then we should start an international incident wie Brazil, it would be over in ten minutes, march in, brush against them, Bob's yer auntie and yer sitting at the bar wie some Brazilian beauty drinking Brahma. If i'm ever doon Rio way i'm safe in the knowledge that ma bumbag will be quite safe if the muggers are all of Dida's standard.

Now i know UEFA have in the past have had some strange decisions and i know that we need to get punished but the UEFA statement makes me think that we will be fine.

So while Dida acted like a complete tosser wanted to get us bombed oot the competition to gloss over his howler and he acted like a twat, a spoiled overpaid big Jessie we should really thank him if we end up wie a token fine.

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Celtic 2 Meelan 1

Does that mean, in tartan army logic, we are champions of Europe? Nah, it disnny matter, that wee gloat this morning has been blown oot of the water- the language is not going to be family friendly for the next couple of hundred words so if offended, sorry- due to a wee bawbag scrote who thinks running on the park is game for a laugh.

On a night when we should be celebrating top trumping oor nee'bours, and getting one of the greatist results in oor history, instead we are going have to discuss a fanny, a c*nt, an arse of a wee boy who should get dragged doon the Gallowgate by his baws, the living daylights booted oot of him then castrated wie a blunt butchers knife.

Annoyed? Too right, was going too write this last night but decided to calm doon. Sorry i huvnae. No matter Dida's part, the FACT is the scrote shouldnae have been there and we must take the punishment and if UEFA decided to go on the side of the establishment club, no matter what AC say then we can lose the points. We are a wee fish in a big pond.

We now have to wait a few days to see what happens. It will be a long few days but there was a game of fitba, which we won, however fortunate.

Truth? Well, i canny really tell you what i feel aboot the performance as that arsewipe action has left a bitter taste in ma mouth. The high of Skippy scoring the winner lasted a few minutes until i found oot what had happened. Rapid Vienna went through oor collective minds i'm sure.

I have never felt so deflated after a European victory in ma life. The final whistle went and i left no celebration no acknowledgement of a "battling" but albeit technically poor Celtic performance, which lacked balance between defence and attack.

It's no surprise that we scored directly and indirectly from corners as we were toothless all night and never looked like scoring from open play. Either did they mind you, but you always got the impression that they were like a great white shark playing wie a colony of seal pups just waiting to strike, which in the five minutes after we scored they showed.

Oor victory just proved the importance of set plays at this level and Naka's part in the goal proved his worth as i said in the preview.

The fact the we won the game, a game against the European champions and a game that oor hopes of at least finishing third were rekindled is a second thought this morning. A wee look at the front pages of the papers this morning and a glance at newsnow show that is not the talking point.

A wee boy wie nae brains has put paid to that, he has feed us to the lions and disgraced every single one of us wie an allegiance to Celtic. Oor reputation has been damaged but the repercussions could be more serious than dented pride.....

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Meelan....Preview

It was or is a where were you moment. The moment that will pass into the annuals of history as momentous, the moment Gordon Strachan tried to convince the world press that Chris Killen is a fitba’ player due to what he does in training. Classic Strachan indeed.

The Milan players have been very nice aboot us, as their classico full back Oddo states we can qualify for the last sixteen wie Milan. I think he seems to forget that if we get beat tonight and the other result goes the way of Shakther then oor hopes of qualification are so far south the penguins in the Falklands are playing keepy uppy wie it.

Defeat tonight and a win for Benfica, means we go into match day 3 looking for oor first points and not only playing against Benfica but also playing against oor king kong sized monkey on oor back away record. If this scenario has entered the realms of possibility tonight at 10pm then oot of Europe before Halloween is a possibility.

It is wie this in mind that even if Naka is on 90% fit he must play. Strachan was right to speak aboot Kaka in the terms genius, i would ask anyone to find a better midfield in Europe than Pirlo, Rino, Seedorf and Kaka, and while Naka is not Kaka he is the only player that can open up games at CL level.

While his CL performances have been, eh, terrible and anonymous to say the least, his ability from dead ball and crossing from open play ability is the reason and the only reason he should be on the park. It disnny matter if he does sod all for 89mins in that one split second he can open up the play give us that chance.

After the inept in Donetsk the midfield tonight will need to take some of Donati’s brave pills if his “revenge” mission is to be complete. A better performance, both on and off the park, than Donetsk is a must if any sort of result is to be attained. I’m away to take some of Donati’s brave pills as i’ve just read Glenn Gibbons in the Scotsman forcasting Sno......oh dear....

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A Celtic Spin....

I was perusing the official site, trying to work oot a way of getting tickets for the Gretna game withoot phoning and hanging on for half an hour only to get cut off or trying to log in to the on-line thingy only to find oot it disnny like ma password, when this stat jumped oot at me...

Gordon Strachan’s side have only conceded one goal at home this season – against Spartak Moscow – so will go into Wednesday’s game against the UEFA Champions League holders full of confidence

Talk aboot clutching at straws.It looks like the Hoopy site has taken a tabloid stance when quoting stats. No mention that AC are unbeaten against us, that they huvnae lost a goal on their last three visits or that the Hoops have only scored 2 goals in their last six Champion League outings..also Celtic's home record against Italian sides being won 3 drawn 3 and lost 1.

Put yer money on 0-0 or a 1-0 me thinks....

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Celtic and Milan have troubles to seek....

Celtic don't have their troubles to seek this week. We have reportedly
lost two "talismanic" players, even though we are getting conflicting reports regarding Nakamura and the media have seemed to have ignored the fact that Hesslelink has been terrible this season.

If Hesslelink was not an untouchable, a player that shall not be dropped then we would be looking for the ex Oldham reserve player and a half season wonder in the SPL Chris Killen to fill the Dutchmans boots. Fine for the SPL but going into a Champions League game wie Killen leading your line is concerning.

I say fine for the SPL but then his performance on Saturday didnae really fill you wie hope wie Darren Dods not really being troubled by the big New Zealander. He does find some support in Scott McDonald, the wee man who has stepped up to the plate wie aplomb.

Skippy's performances have maybe made Hesslelink look worse than he has actually has been. The fact that Skippy looks interested in playing for the hoops rather than looking like a bored husband wandering aboot Sauchiehall Street has made us forget his part on that day in 2005.

What i find laughable is the press take on the so called troubles at AC Milan. Only six points from five games conjures up visions of the infamous "Valencia are the Aberdeen of Spain" tag line of a number of years back.

AC Milan were getting written off last season. Too old, the manager going to get sacked and a team living on past glories. Two months after Kaka slipped a beer mat between us and them, Maldini was lifting the famous old trophy. That was after destroying the English champions elect and the English Champions League specialists.

Are we really thinking that oor great home record, not unusual in the realms of the Champions League that teams have great home records, will have the old warhorses of Milan fearing a trip into paradise? In their last two trips here they have left without losing a goal and in the six times we have faced the Rossoneri we have yet to record a victory.

This is a must win game. Make no mistake defeat and we can kiss goodbye to anyhope of finishing second. The odds are stacked against us and i have to agree wie Gary Caldwell- one of the reasons the odds are stacked against us- when he says this

If we beat the holders, it will be one of the biggest results in Celtic’s history. Hopefully, we can have one of those special European nights that Celtic Park is famous for.”

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