View From The Wing- Caley 3 Celtic 2

Gordon, shudders as the ghost of Jim Jeffries passes through his body

It was like an episode of "Life on Mars". For 10 minutes, i thought i had been knocked doon by a Ford Cortina and transported back to the early nineties...big Mick had become the bastard offspring of McGuigan, McNally, Whtye and Cascarino- he did play CB for Brady a few times-and oor goalie had morphed into the hybrid of Muggleton and Marshall...oh stuff it and Kerr.

Since the begining of time, well ma time, i canny remember us NOT having bombscares at the back..it's as traditional as the Hoops, as turkey at xmas and yer wife not talking to you after a two day bender when you forget where you live. Even MON big CB's had bombscare moments....and one of them is still hanging around wie 30,000 reason why he canny come back into the side.

Those seem to view Bobo Blade wie selective memory, which comes wie nostalgia. The Lisboa Lions are the same, people forget that they had bad games...but Bobo has all of a sudden become Maldini, Baresi or suchlike if you listen to the bar-room boozers bawbags and phone in tubes. The seem to forget that the big fellow is ponderous on the baw and rash in the tackle. He is an easy option to cure the ills of away games. Canny keep a clean sheet? "Just bring back Bobo that wee Ginja husnae got a clue" they bleat.....wonder if they remember Bratislava and Motherwell..THE two games when GS decided he didnae fancy him.....

Over the last 14 months, they only constant in the run has been Mick. He has been the only EVER present. GS perferred partnership, the partnership that gained oor last clean sheet, is Mick and Caldwell. For what i can remember this partnership has only played a handful of times since THAT game at Westfield...this partnership is limited but honest..but IMO the fact that, this season esp, the constant chopping and changing of the defence has not help matters...BUT THE SCHOOL BHOY ERRORS yesterday must rank as the worst on this run....

I like Mick, he is honest, reads the game well- near post reading of the game is fantastic- but he is a typical Scottish limited ability CB who will make mistakes. Apart from Donestk and yesterday has he had many howlers? I don't think he has and the people shouting for him to be dropped should really get a grip and look at the bigger picture...which is Mick is the best CB at the club and will remain the best CB at the club as the money we have to spend won't get any better unless oor scouts come up trumps and find the new "Kaiser" in Outer Mongolia.

But, comedy errors and a goalie who has been dodgy over the last few weeks, c'mon, the pen should have been saved and also their second goal, werent the only cause of the defeat. We will start wie the MIB, Alan Freeland. He changed the game by awarding the penalty before half time.

Elvis, was caught wie a simple baw over the top and decided to let it run to the dodgy goalie. He used the well worn tactic of putting himself between the man and the baw. A tactic he has used to great effect, and wie NO punishment, in a blue, sky blue, orange and marroon....So how come oor Elivs gets punished for it in a green and white jersey....paranoid moi?.....and how come he wisnny sent off if it was a foul?

Mr Freeland and his other MIB's decided then to chop off an onside goal, it was close, when the senkie had brought the game back to 2-2. A goal that would HAVE changed the course of the game. That brings us to the other incidents, which brings Mr Freelands incompitence and inconsistancy that pollutes oor game.

Two weeks ago panto-villian Gary Caldwell was punished for a push in the box, right so IMO, against the jam farts. On Sunday TWICE JVOH was pushed in the back while trying to get his Dutch noggin on the end of crossses. Again, if it is a pen one week...it's surely one the next...you would think? Nae, not according to Mr Freeland and would i be wrong to mention the green and white jerseys again?

Also, to balance ma paranoia up, i didnae think the senkie boy should have got sent off. ALL I ASK FOR IS CONSIsTANCY......but not consistant shite.

But....we were masters of oor own downfall. 2-0 up to 3-2 doon. Last 20 odd minutes against 10 men. Humilation in the Highlands....hell, yeah. Thing is, the nature of this collaspe didnae suprise me one little bit. From brutal in Bratislava to calamitis in Clyde, via all sort of shockers and, maybe worse of all, rank against r*ngers, nae back bone or liftupability in his teams is as common as lastminutewinability....UNPREDICTABLE can sum up GS reign.

For the last 20 minutes against senkie, we werent cute enough to cut them open. We didnae have the streetwise-ness to drag the senkie defence all over the place. Oor tactics, the tactics managers develop when the seige mentality of a Coventry or a Southampton, a menatlity bourne through working wie inferiour players who are playing against better players, something that in Scotland we dinny have to worry aboot, of the long baw is NEVER going to work for long spells against teams as honest as the senkie.

We ended up that ragged that oor formation, sort of resembled a Sunday pub team. It was a 3-0-7 in the last period, we NEVER picked up ANY second baw that oor aimless punts into the box forced clearances from. The long baw..the Hail Mary....can be used when you are DESPERATE....but not when there is a long period of the game left. Last 5 minutes yes, last 25 minutes nah, we should be BETTER than that.

We canny fault the senkie or the result. Yes, we had a few chances and the MIB's are getting a warm welcome in their pubs, clubs, lodges, workplaces and SFA corridors this week but make nae mistake...this result was OOR doing....we canny deny the senkie their GREATEST EVER result against us....and one of most embarrassing.

Not that it stops oor manager saying differently."We had all the possession, all the chances and all the decisions going against us," "We feel a bit hard done by. They took their chances, but we should have won that game quite easily." he said wieoot any hint of embarressment or feeling like Jim Jeffries being visited wie the ghost of Christmas past and screaming "Bah Humbug" at orphaned weans.

Is it any wonder that some Celtic fans, wonder what he is on at times? If the signing of Adam Virgo wisnny enough to convince that he lost the plot, his meanderings and meeja dealings really do leave us feeling like dragging him to watch the re-runs on Celtic Tv and playing keepie uppy wie his crown jewels while screaming "Guid professionals, right guid players...are ye watching this....are ye asking santa for new fullbacks, a centreback, a decent goalie....a plan B....a taxi for Elvis....."

We should tie him to a chair like that scene in the Clockwork Orange and make him watch re-runs of the terrible performances of this season....then drag him oot to face the press and make him just tell the truth...."We have been poor in a lot of games...."

It canny be that difficult to admit that, surely?


Forza