“One Man Loves The Mo, The Massimo Donati”

Really must admit, the Prostar figures are a lot better than the Mircostar figures. I mean, look at Naka he is towering over Hleb and Jens Lehmann but he is not as big as the Guinness, who is quite Bobo imposing alongside the others. I’m sure he is not bitter, he is the only Timmy in the range and der Hun are conspicuous in their absence from the 2006 range.

Now, you may be wondering why I have two arses on ma desk. They were a “secret Santa” pressie. There were three of them in the pack but one was FergieHun the uncarded. He was taken from ma clutches for his own well-being..of course the FACT two arses were in the packet wisnae anything to do wie THAT packet being bought.

So Naka lines up alongside Martins, Evra- both available in home and away kits-,Mascherano, Cole, Giggs and a wee gander at their website shows you can get Stan P in 2004’s bottle green away kit, Bobo, Henri Camara(!), Juninho(!) and for 35 quid you can get the Lisboa Lions full team complete wie Big Jock casting his shadow over the whole of Scottish Figurine world....

So why can we only get Naka? What happens if yer ankle bitter wants Aiden McGeady or a Hesslelink? What if you want a Mick McManus to police yer desk wie uncompromising style, a Gary Calderbuer to kick yer post in notes off yer desk, a Scott McDonald to take up half yer terminal screen due to the size of his erse or an Arfur Boruc to bless the place that you work?

Or what if like me you want a Massimo Donati? You want an enigmatic dyed hair Italian to grace yer desk, to appear for 10 to 15mins spells, too brighten up yer day then disappear for the remaining hour or so before appearing again trying to “World Cup Ba’” yer tippex to Phil Neville on the desk behind you?

I want a Massimo so at least one would be sold, as where I sit in the stadium I think I’m the only Massimo “fan” in the section. Judging by the Timternet I think there is only one Massimo fan in every section….must be lonely for the £10m reject© The Daily Ragger…..

Ok, I know he has faded from his early promise and yes some of his performances have been heidscratching to say the least. Mind you, when he lost form the whole of the team lost form at the same time so maybe it wisnae only just him that needed a boot up the archie.

Still, he has had some howlers. The CIS Cup game against Hearts was a shocker. Donestk at CP was another shocker- his first pass missed it’s target by 20 yards. Ipox? Guilty yer honour, posted missing like all 11 Hoops that day.

But, what about the moments of beauty and skill? His goals against Hearts and Aberdeen being the perfect examples. What aboot the sheer thrill of his last minute winner against Donestk? Some feat after 80 odd minutes of not being able to hit coo’s arse wie a banjo.

Over the last few games he has done enough, for me- I reckon this has been his most consistent spell, which is maybe not saying much-, not to get placed in the Tommy Gravesen lost cause category. Mo, was heading doon that round according to some but unlike “The Grav” time was always on Massimo’s side. While “The Grav” had trawled his arse roond Europe, Massimo was dipping his big toe ootside Italy for the first time.

He is a player that the game seems to pass by but if you watch closely he probably has mair touches on the ba’ than you think. He does the simple pass, most forward I may add, but he only seems to get noticed when he tries the “World Cup Ba’” or the forward thinking pass that disnae come off.

Then we get to the crux of the matter why I like the big Italian Stallion. Yes, he like The Grav and Jiri Jaro before him, has his failings. Yes, I worry that he could go missing in every game he plays, esp against der Hun where he could get booted and hassled oot the park and yes, I worry that he tackles like a big Jessie at times.

But, I temper that wie the fact, he can create, he can score and he likes playing wie ba’ players, which thankfully we have in the midfield. Unlike some will berate him for trying to do what he does well, well.

Saturday, perfect example. Scott Broon- who in the eyes of the antidonatibrigade cannae do no wrong- tried to recreate Massimo’s woeful first pass against Donestk. He did recreate wie and he did it wie knobs on. The ba’ missed it’s target- Lee Naylor, who was also Massimo’s target that night- by the length of the London Road.

Were there howls of venom raining doon from the stands towards Broony? Wis there heck, it was meet wie muted applause and a few “Unlucky Son”. Cast yer mind back and remember Massimo’s effort? The screams of green murder burst eardrums all over the East End.

So what’s the difference? I will praise any player that tries something to take the team forward. Something that shows a bit of vision, intelligence and taking a risk, as long as the risk is in the correct area.

I get annoyed when guys berate Naka or Aiden for trying to beat a man. I get annoyed wie guys that have a go at Skippy or Jan for having a shot at goal. But I really get annoyed at Donati seems to get abuse while Skoosh can run up blind alleyways, have a first touch as bad as I have ever seen and misplace passes but gets the auld line “He’s young and he will learn”

Bolloxs.

Broony doing all of the above is no different to Massimo trying to switch play, trying to find that forward pass and trying to keep possession. While Broony will emit a Duracell bunny energy, which is loved by us cavemanic Scots, and will, rightly, get praised it’s easier to notice than what Massimo does. But what Massimo does is just as important.

I reckon if we show the Big Man the love, then we will get performances from him. So the next time we see him give him a big hug and a box of milk tray. Or just cheer him on Wednesday night when he fires a ba’ straight to Xavi….

Forza